


Your name

by SpicyBiscuit



Series: Nygmobblepot AUs [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Character Study, During Canon, Edward Nygma Has OCD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Murder, Nightmares, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Other, Past Child Abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Sharing a Bed, Some events have changed slightly but mostly canon compliant, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, past bullying, split personality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:20:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyBiscuit/pseuds/SpicyBiscuit
Summary: Everyone is born with the name of their soulmate written their arm. Oswald and Ed had dreamt of the day they would finally meet, and when they do they are not dissapointed.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Nygmobblepot AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747396
Comments: 22
Kudos: 146





	1. Ed Nygma

Oswald Kapelput. 

  
That was the name written on Ed's arm when he was born, which you can see in photos from his birth to when he was almost 6. Kapelput always intrigued him; it sounded strange, but interestingly unique. Maybe foreign. Not only did the unique name make Ed optimistic about finding him, (as there aren't many Kapelput's in America), it gave him hope that his partner would understand him better and not be repulsed by his own "strangeness".

His dad had immediately become dissapointed in the name written on his son's arm. Not only was his soulmate a _man_ but he was likely an _immigrant_ too. That from the start triggered the dissapointed glances and pessimistic talks about his future. The physical abuse only started once he had excitedly brought home an essay that he got an A on, and his dad had punched him so hard that he was on the floor for the next 10 minutes. _Cheater._ His dad had called him, but he didn't understand. Edward Nashton was not a cheater. He studied hard for that grade.

His peers always considered him odd, but even more so once he quickly began to develop a compulsion for learning and succeeding, as well as a compulsion for telling the truth. He soon realised that he physically could not lie, which in itself earnt him a few bruises from bullies. The closest lie he could ever tell was one that was in between the truth and a lie. His abusive environment at school and home left him developing more and more compulsions, some that were useful, like a desire learning new things, while others began to negatively affect both Ed and those around him. Like the time he had a panic attack during an exam because his pen unexpectedly stopped working even though it still had ink in it, so he now only had one working pen in his pencil case when he always had to have 2 on him at all times. It was a stupid and embarrassing moment, but as soon as the pen stopped working Ed couldn't stop fixating on the idea that he was about to fail the exam because of it, and he broke down until his teacher gave him a spare pen.

It wasn't just his weird compulsions that separated him from his classmates. He began obsessing over riddles and puzzles to an unhealthy extent, and started reading non fiction books so he could learn new things. While boys his age played sports, he was learning the functions of the human body. Perhaps that's where his career choice stemmed from. The 7 year old boy in the library, head buried in a biology book on different systems, cells and bodily functions.

He often found himself staring at Oswald's name on his arm for hours at a time, trying to visualise how he would look, talk and act. Would he be strange too? Would he be smart? Tall or short? Like puzzles? Like science? Does he read? Would he like Ed?

The last question was always the one he became fixated on, to the point where he got frustrated and made a pros and con list of himself to try and work it out. When that didn't calm his nerves, he decided to take a book on soulmates out of the library and study the science behind them. They have a 97% chance of being compatible. Ed did not like those odds. A 97% chance still meant there was a 3% chance of failure. 2% of these situations were caused by one person being soulmates with someone who had a different soulmate, and 1% were cases where the two did not like each other. The idea of being in the 3% scared Ed, and he unadmittedly lost a lot of sleep over it.

By his 18th birthday, Ed was finally able leave his abusive home behind and start a new life. Edward Nashton became Edward Nygma (because it became E.Nygma when shortened, like an enigma). He mainly got the courage from Oswald's surname changing from Kapelput to Cobblepot. Before, he was scared that legally changing his name would make it harder to be found, but the name changed with him so he didn't have to worry.

He studied forensics science and biology at Gotham university, but found that his own mental problems were beginning to affect him more than usual. One that had caused problems was a compulsive need for approval, often overworking to achieve it. That one had followed him into adulthood, likely stemming from his father's constant disapproval. His peers would work hard for top grades to make sure they could pursue their career, and while Ed was the same, he found himself more stressed over the idea of disappointing his teachers. He spent many sleepless nights studying, even when he had memorised the textbook from heart, just to make sure he wouldn't fail. He believed if he stopped studying then he would fail the exam.

When his biology teacher finally confronted him about his mental state, Ed had got offended at the potential diagnosis:

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Ed was nothing like them! He didn't clean everything 100 times, or organise his clothes in colour gradients! In a desperate attempt to prove her wrong, he began to research the disorder in hopes of gathering enough evidence against it.

However, the more he read into it, the more he realised that she was right. The representation he had seen were inaccurate, leading him to believe a false idea of the disorder. Many of the symptoms Ed related to, as much as he hated it. He found himself thinking back to his panic attack over the pen, and one time where he got nervous and started pacing around his room, but he had to step exactly 8 times in each direction due to a nagging feeling he had inside that something might happen if he did more or less steps than 8.

She finally pushed him to get a diagnosis and he was diagnosed with OCD and given medication, but Ed never took them. He didn't want to. As relieved as he was to find out there was a genuine reason for his quirks, he refused the diagnosis and decided to just accept his compulsions as part of his personality. He didn't need to be fixed, he was fine the way he was.

However, things seemed to only get worse when he joined the GCPD.

Not many police officers seemed to appreciate his work. Hardly any "Thank you, Ed" or "Wow, that's really cool Ed, where did you learn that". Like school, everyone thought he was weird, or annoying, but here he had the added bonus of being considered a creep or a pervert. That was never his intention, so he would apologise if he thought he was making someone uncomfortable.

Oswald's name on his arm was one if the only things pushing him forwards, apart from his career and the fascinating cases he worked on every week. Like his childhood, he could spend hours staring at the name visualising him and how they might meet. He wanted it to be romantic, just perfect. It was something he dreamt of his entire life.

Ed used to be excited to meet him. Until the day that Oswald Cobblepot himself walked through the GCPD doors, and declared that he was in fact alive unlike previously thought, and that he was now known as "The Penguin". Ed had desperately wanted to talk to him that day, but he vanished as fast as he appeared once his little speech was over.

The GCPD soon began to mention Penguin and his terrible deeds, causing Ed to become more paranoid about someone finding out about them being soulmates. He loved Oswald. It was in his blood to love Oswald, no matter what the man did. But if his coworkers found out, everything could become worse than it already was.

Officers often shared the names of their soulmates proudly to eachother, and Ed would quietly slip away in case anyone decided to finally take an interest in his life. Usually, it was when there's some sort of small celebration when they finally meet eachother, other times it's people asking for help to find them, or others just being curious on who your partner is. Like usual, no one took any interest in Ed's life, allowing him to safely hide his secret under his sleeve.

Until one day.

Arnold Flass. Asshole cop who kept talking to Kristen, and making fun of Ed whenever he tried to be friendly. He called him a creep or a pervert, and laughed about him behind his back. Ed knew Arnold didn't like him at all. So when he had written Kristen a poem and Arnold had found it, the detective finally decided to confront Ed on his interest in her.

"Why are you so obsessed with her Nygma? She's not your soulmate! Or is it that she is but you're not hers?" Arnold sneered walking towards him, handing the poem back to one of his friends.

"No, I just like her. She's nice a-and I want to be friends" Ed replied trying to stay calm, straightening his back to appear more confident despite his racing heart. Flass momentarily reminded him of his father.

"Who's your soulmate, Nygma?" 

"I-I..." Ed started and yelped when Arnold roughtly grabbed his arm and shoved him into the filing cabinets, as his friends surround them to stop Ed from escaping. His ears started to lightly ring in panic, causing him to miss Kristen trying to get them to stop. The group of cops surrounded him laughed when Arnold grabbed him and pinned him with his elbow. "Let's take a look boys!" 

"No!" Heart racing in panic, Ed struggled to get away from them. "No! No stop!" He cried out trying to rip his arm away from Arnold as he gripped it in his hand, and forced his sleeves up. His face dropped momentarily in shock, but then a smirk appeared as he looked at Ed. "How fitting. A freak for a freak"

"Stop it, Arnold, that's enough" Kristen frowned as the group moved closer to see the name written on his skin. Ed could almost cry as they laughed judgingly, his secret now out in the open. Images of his dissapointed father briefly crossed his mind as he fixated his gaze on the floor shaking.

"Oswald Cobblepot, huh? You're soulmates with that psycho?" An officer that Ed had never learnt the name of laughed, "Better stay clear of this one, Kristen. He'll probably strangle you to death if you get too close"

Arnold's grip loosened momentarily, allowing Ed to shove him away and run out the records room crying silently, their laughter echoing down the corridor behind him. His heart raced, pounding against his ribs as he headed towards the toilets shaking viciously. The captain tried to call him over but he didn't hear, or didn't care, as he threw himself into the toilet and locked himself in a cubical. Curling in on himself, Ed openly cried humiliated and horrified. No one would want to be around him now. The longer he cried, the more his fingers tapped a rhythm based on a prime number sequence on the floor, the more he began to feel himself dissociating.

He didn't know how long he was in there before Jim came looking for him.

"Ed, are you okay?", Jim's voice snapped him out of his dissociative state, and he shakily answered back.

"Ri-right as rain"

"Ed, you ignored the Captain which you never do, and we saw you leaving the records room crying. What happened?"

"Who has your name but isn't you?" Ed slipped out a riddle which wasn't so great, but it was the first thing that he could come up with.

"A...soulmate?"

"Arnold Flass found who my soulmate is. Now they think I'm dangerous"

There was a brief pause of confusion, before Jim asked who his soulmate was. And Ed, being unable to lie, hesitantly answered.

"Oswald Cobblepot...Penguin"

"Ed..." Jim started but trailed of, unsure what to say. They stayed in silence for a few minutes before Jim finally found the words, "Your soulmate doesn't define you, Ed. I don't think you're capable of hurting someone, you're a nice man. Flass is just an asshole who doesn't know how to be nice to his coworkers, you did nothing wrong"

Some part of Ed laughed at that. Jim sometimes seemed to ignore him or seemed annoyed by his presence, but sometimes, just like this moment, Jim was the only nice one here.

"Come out when you're ready. There's a new case for you to examine" And with that, the detective left, leaving Ed alone with his thoughts.

___

The next few days were as bad as Ed had expected. People would tease him, laughing about who he was paired up with and some even said he'd be _lucky_ to be in the 3% of failed soulmate bonds. Oswald may have been a murderer, but Ed still loved him. How dare they say that?

The only good moment he had since he was outed, was when Kristen had come and apologised that evening for Arnold's behaviour. She even complimented his poem which was something. But Ed was beginning to find Kristen very confusing, especially with her changes in attitude towards him. One minute she was friendly, the next she seemed frustrated or even scared of him. He hated how she was scared of him, he never meant to scare anyone.

Then, one day while Ed was on the balcony trying to find a file for a case, Oswald Cobblepot came limping into the GCPD looking for Jim. Tom immediately yelled up to Ed "Hey Nygma, your boyfriend's here!", causing people to laugh, and leaving Ed to frown and look down at his soulmate.

Immediately his heart skipped a beat. Oswald was nothing less than beautiful. His raven black hair sat messily on his head like ruffled feathers, contrasting his porcelain white skin, and eyes that seemed to change colour in the light. Ed just froze as he started at him in awe, not immediately noticing when Oswald looked up to meet his gaze. They locked eyes for a matter of seconds, which to Ed felt like minutes, before Oswald rolled his eyes and began limping down the desks towards the front.

_No. No no no no no no no no!_

Panicking, Ed quickly walked down the stairs and paralleled Oswald's movement down the precinct watching him. Oswald watched him out the corner of his eye as he walked, eventually stopping at the desk where Ed moved to stand beside him heart racing.

"Can I help you?" Oswald asked annoyed, sending a sudden wave if anxiety through Ed. _What if we're_ _not_ _soulmates? What if I'm in the 2%. Oh no no no_

"I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?" The shorter man opened his mouth, furrowing his brows in confusion at Ed's sudden riddle.

"I don't- are you asking me a riddle?"

"Do you like riddles?"

"...No. I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Edward Nygma!" His heart fluttered in anxiety and hope as he watched Oswald's reaction. As soon as he said his name, Oswald's turquoise eyes immediately widened and his face softened.

"Used to be Edward Nashton?" Penguin mumbled, "You're..."

"Yes" Ed grinned and watched Oswald think for a few seconds before placing an envelope on the desk and asking them to give it to Jim, before gesturing for Ed to follow him out the building. For once, Ed ignored the stares and comments as he followed his soulmate out the doors, not caring about abandoning his work. He had waited too long for this day. And right now, all he wanted was to meet the man he had dreamed of meeting.


	2. Oswald Cobblepot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald's life leading up to the day they meet

Edward Nashton

Oswald had stared at that name all of his life, wondering what it would be like to finally meet him. The only person in his life who had loved and cared for him was his mother, and it would be nice to finally unite with the person he was born to be with.

His mother didn't seem fazed that her boy was paired with a man. In fact, she seemed delighted that there would be no woman to come between them (as if that would ever happen). She would often gently trace the name on his arm and tell him how lucky Edward would be to have him. "You must find this boy. Run to him and never let go. He will take care of you, this I am sure of" Gertrud would tell him, and when he asked how she knew she would just sadly smile and say, "A mother knows this"

Oswald had her, and her alone in this lonely world. She could be overbearing at times, but she was still the only person he really had. He didn't fit in with his peers. He was too weird and ugly for them. They would laugh at his accent, his broken English, and his appearance.

As a young boy, he was short and chubby, with a long beak like nose. His hair was dark, black even, but his eyes were an icy turquoise which seemed more blue or green depending in the lighting. He was always told he looked so much like his father, especially with his hair. But, no matter how much his mother told him he as a handsome young man, his classmates would remind him he was just an ugly duckling amongst their flock of swans. Other kids were pretty, even when they were young. When they began to blossom into adults, Oswald was still unattractive in comparison. His fat only seemed to disappear when he hit his 20's, and then he just became thin and scrawny instead.

Many of them thought he was hostile and mean, even in his early years when he tried his hardest to be on his best behaviour. It was when Alex Greenfield made fun of his mum that he finally snapped and beat her up, earning a weeks suspension. Oswald was terrified of what his mother would think of him, but she just smiled and took his hands in hers, telling him it was ok. That night, she made sure to reassure him that she wasn't angry. She even called Alex a name in Hungarian, which sounded suspiciously similar to the name she called the woman next door.

That week was spent with the two on the piano, Gertrud teaching her son a song as they played a duet, and many nights cuddled together by the open fire eating her famous golache, singing a lullaby or reading stories. Miss Kapelput made sure to keep her son happy. She was almost proud of him for standing up for her, even if it meant hurting a lady. But young girls could be cruel, and she wasn't the least bit sympathetic. She would offer no apology to her or the mother who failed to raise her. Not only did she insult her, she would constantly upset her son. And, as Oswald had come to learn, no one messes with her little boy.

At night she would sing him the same lullaby, tuck him into bed and kiss his forehead. She would stroke his hair gently and tell him the same words she always did, but they never once lost their effect on him, even to this day. "Oswald, don't listen to the other children. You're handsome, and clever, and one day you will be a great man"

However, coming back to school was a nightmare. His classmates turned on him for what he did, and began making his life at school hell. Alex, who had played the victim, seemed to enjoy every moment of it. Though, if Oswald was to be honest, he would say that their words hurt far more than their punches ever did.

He would try to hide the bruises, but his mother seemed to have xray vision and would start fussing over him as soon as he walked through the door. Nothing he did assured her, and even when she spent hours yelling down the phone to the school the taunting and hits never stopped. The day he came home with a bloody nose, a black eye and several bruised ribs from an especially horrendous attack he endured half way home, was the day when she finally had enough and marched down the school herself.

Which in itself did nothing. A soft spoken Hungarian immigrant yelling at the staff in broken English while her son, who had no time to clean up, sat on a chair nearby, face and shirt covered in blood and hugging himself to ignore the aching in his chest. Nothing changed. Not a surprise. Oswald just decided to take extra care to hide the bruises to stop her from worrying as much.

Their attitude towards him only inspired him to learn English more, studying the speech patterns of other people around him and those on TV. His vocabulary increased, and he began to sound more eloquent and American. His mum wasn't very happy about it -she tried to help him embrace it- but he would just assure her that he wasn't going to forget his roots.

At the age of 21, Oswald had woke up to find the name on his arm had changed. Nashton became Nygma, a very unusual second name, which lead him to the conclusion that his soulmate was probably running away from something. Nygma was certainly not a real name. No, it surely was one Edward had given himself. The more he stared at it, the more he began to see the funny side. E.Nygma. As in Enigma. That's funny, but definitely intentional.

However, he began to wonder why Ed had changed his name. Who or what was he running from? Was it home, or did he just want a fresh start? A fresh start at 21? Unlikely but not uncommon. Perhaps Edward was just not the same age as him. That's more likely. He wasn't too bothered by the name change; if anything, it gave him more hope to find Edward. There certainly should not be another Nygma in Gotham, so it could be easy to find the odd one out.

As a desperate 26 year old, Oswald had gone looking for work and found himself at Fish Mooney's. She took him under her wing, and although she could be cruel at times she was always considerate, and almost like a mother. He would always be grateful for that, but you could only be Fish Mooney's umbrella boy for so long without wanting to be so much more. Oswald knew he was destined for greatness, he wasn't going to sit back and be her little umbrella penguin much longer.

All of it happened relatively fast, and he will admit that he was scared through many of the events that took place. He trusted Jim not to shoot him, but the way he acted on that day made him momentarily panicked about the fact his plan may not go as expected -that he might die. But thankfully, he didn't, and was able to carry out his promise to Falcone. He infiltrated Maroni's, earning a title and his trust until he slipped up.

Due to the bullying he endured most of his life, he was cautious around men who may want to do harm to him. He's not entirely certain that Maroni never noticed how hard he flinched when he would pat his cheek harder then neccessary. He never wanted to be on the Don's bad side, yet there he was almost being crushed to death in a car.

Oswald was undoubtedly worried that his life would decline after this incident, so he was pleasantly surprised when falcone gave him Fish's nightspot, and decided immediately invite jum, though he wanted to hand the invitation in personally for two reasons. One so he had an excuse to see him again; two, because he knew Jim would refuse immediately without consideration unless he talked him into it.

He noticed a problem he had with building relationships with people. The only affection he ever got as from his mother, so often enough he would become quickly attached to anyone who was kind to him. Getting rid of Fish gave him mixed emotions. On one hand, she was usually kind to him and like she had mentioned, treated him almost like a son, so some part of him still had love and respect for her. On the other, Oswald could not afford to stay in her shadow any longer, and was glad he had the chance to rise.

Jim was also one of these people. Oh, what a strange relationship they had. One minute he would seem okay with Oswald, the next he acted like he hated him. But Oswald had still gripped onto the idea of then being friends, and wasn't going to let go of that any time soon. He would help Jim, he liked Jim and owed him his life for sparing his own at the peir that day, even if the detective wanted his help and refused to do anything in return. But what are friends for?

He was kind of glad that everyone was born knowing who their soulmate was; there as no risk of Oswald chasing after this detective who he could only dream of liking him back. Oswald knew where his heart was set, and kept his eyes focused on the man he was born to be with. His feelings for Jim stayed mutual as he continued his search for Ed.

Holding the envelope in his hands, Oswald stared out the window of his car, watching buildings pass by as they headed towards the GCPD. Gotham was so huge. Would be ever find Edward? He had started to loose hope on his 30th birthday, and with his 31st coming up soon, it seemed like he'd go another year without him.

The journey to the station wasn't that far, but Oswald was almost surprised when Gabe parked the car outside and turned to him. It felt like he had only been in there a few minutes. Perhaps he had zoned off, lost himself in his thoughts. It was silly to think of Edward now, he had a new business to promote.

Oswald limped up the stairs and walked into the GCPD, searching around for Jim who was not at his desk. He ignored the few stares he got, despite the fact they were different to the ones he got last time. They weren't all disrupted by his presence, some seemed like it was funny he was here. As he went to wait in the visitors seats, he heard someone shout "Hey Nygma, your boyfriend's here!" Followed by laughter.

His heart skipped a beat _Nygma? Edward is here?_

He looked around, trying his best to seem unfazed, then a man on the balcony caught his eyes. He looked up at him and feels a connection once their eyes meet.

The man had dark brown hair neatly brushed and styled, wearing a uniform that was different from the rest of the officers and detectives inside. He wasn't one if them, but he didn't seem to be a Medical examiner either, so what was his job? Dark brown eyes sparkled behind large glasses so brightly that Oswald could see it from where he was. A strange man. Did he not know that staring is rude? Yet, Oswald found himself realising that this man seemed genuinely delighted at his presence.

Maybe...

No. Surely not. Surely he can't be _his_ Edward. With a roll of his eyes, Oswald began to head towards the front desk to see if he could find out where Jim was, when he noticed the man quickly moving to follow him. Oswald watched him out the corner of his eye as he walked, eventually stopping at the desk where the man moved to stand beside him.

"Can I help you?" Oswald asked annoyed.

"I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?" He opened his mouth, furrowing his brows in confusion as he briefly tried to decipher the riddle. Then he realised that it was just stupid and cuts himself off mid speech.

"I don't- are you asking me a riddle?"

"Do you like riddles?"

"...No. I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Edward. Nygma!" His heart stopped, causing a sudden rush of euphoric electricity through him. Oswald's eyes immediately widened and his face softened from the harsh persona, turning to face him. _Edward_.

"Used to be Edward Nashton? You're..."

"Yes"

Despite what he thought of him a few seconds ago, Oswald was not dissapointed that he was indeed his soulmate. Biting his lip, Oswald handed the envelope over asking for it to be given to Jim, before gesturing for Ed to follow. He wanted to give it to him personally, to make sure the stubborn detective would actually turn up, but he had waited 30 years for this moment, and he was not letting Jim Gordon ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I wanted to write Oswald's side of the story, but the rest of the story will most likely be from Ed's point of view


	3. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald and Ed spend some time together

It didn't take long for them to get to their destination; Oswald had some guy called Gabe drive them downtown to a nightclub. On the journey, Oswald hesitantly asked him to show the name on his arm to make sure that it wasn't a trap or a joke, despite the fact Ed had his ID card on his jacket. They talked a bit, but both men seemed nervous, or excited. Maybe a bit of both. About halfway, Oswald had finally asked for the answer to his riddle, and when Ed told him the answer was love, he began to blush lightly.

The car pulled up outside the nightspot and the two men head inside, walking past the bar and into the seating area. A few men sat at the tables smoking and playing cards, paying them no mind as Oswald turned to Ed, gesturing at the nearest table.

"Sit, sit. Let's celebrate, do you like champagne?" He asked limping over to a table with a bottle and a few glasses, pouring them both a drink and sitting down opposite Ed smiling. "I can not tell you how delighted I am to finally meet you Edward. Oh, is that what you want me to call you or-"

"Ed. Please, call me Ed"

"Ed" He smiled, and took a sip of his drink as he sat back, "Do you like it? I have to redecorate but this is all mine now"

"You are very lucky, Oswald. This used to be Fish Mooney's place right? It's amazing that you beat her and took her place in a matter of months. Some people won't admit it, but you're very clever"

Once again a soft blush dusted Oswald's pale face as he smiled into his glass. Ed is almost certain that no one else had seen him look so happy. "Thank you. I worked hard and they all underestimated me. But how about you? You must be smart to be in Forensics"

Oswald had asked what his job was during the car journey here, but Ed hadn't been able to elaborate on it then. "I studied a lot, and I've always been interested in different facts my whole life. I've got a vast range of knowledge for many subjects, and I graduated Gotham University top of my classes" He grinned proudly, but some part of him was anxious of his reaction. At this point he was used to people being uninterested in his life and achievements, expected it even. So he was pleasantly surprised when Oswald seemed amazed at the information.

"You _are_ smart, Mister Nygma"

Ed chuckled and slowly took a sip of his own champagne. He was never a drinker, so he wasn't sure if he liked the drink. Once the flavour hit his tongue, he decided that he was not a big lover of it and placed the glass back on the table.

"So...I hope I'm not intruding, but what's with your last name? I know it's not a genuine last name, so you probably made it yourself"

_Oh crud._

"Well I uh..." _Oh dear, what to say?_ "I wanted a fresh start once I left home, so I decided to change my last name to...to leave my family behind" He hesitated watching for his soulmates reaction, but the concerned but knowing look he had made him feel a bit more confident, "They weren't very nice to me, well, my dad mostly. I chose Nygma, because I like riddles and puzzles, so I thought it would work with the initials of my first name"

"Enygma" The two said at the same time.

"You're such an interesting man" Oswald said after a beat of silence, as he picked his glass back up and stared at the carbonated liquid for a brief moment. Ed stared at him for a few seconds, taking in the details of his face. His eyes were more beautiful up close, and Ed could now see light freckles speckled across his nose and cheeks. His eyes moved down to his lips, which seemed surprisingly soft. He hadn't even noticed he was staring at them until Oswald cleared his throat and gave him a quizzical look.

"I'm sorry I-" Heat rushed to his face, but he suddenly felt more confident. "Can...can I kiss you?" He watched Oswald's face slowly twist into a soft smile, as he moved around to sit beside him. Their hands brushed against each other as Oswald straightened his back, though Ed could tell from his eyes that he's nervous. Inexperienced. Not to worry, Ed was too.

"You may" The shorter man mumbled before they leaned forwards and kissed. Despite fixating on them, he was still surprised at the softness of Oswald's lips, and the gentleness behind the gesture, now self conscious about his own chapped lips from excessive nervous biting. But Oswald didn't seem to mind, relaxing at the contact. Ed gently placed a hand behind his neck and stroked his hair with his thumb, while Oswald cupped his face with his hand and entwined the fingers of their free hands. They kissed for a while before Oswald slowly pulled away grinning, his cheeks now successfully a bright pink, though Ed's face was even redder.

"Dinner. You're coming for dinner at mine tonight, I will pick you up from work. My mother wants to meet you" Oswald said so suddenly that Ed almost had a whiplash, "I apologise if I'm moving too fast, but I assure you my mother is kind and will love you, and I would like to spend more time with you. My guess is that you still have work, as you left so suddenly, but if you end early enough would you consider it?"

Ed wasn't that comfortable with meeting his mother on the first date, especially if the first date was on the same day they met. But some part of him also longed to spend more time with Oswald today, especially if he had to go back to work in a little while. "I'm supposed to get off at 8 if a case doesn't come in"

"That is perfect. Shall we exchange numbers in case the plans change?"

The two swapped phone numbers, kissed again, and then Gabe drove Ed back to work. The rush of happiness and excitement coursing through him pushed him through the next few hours of his shift, which also helped him ignore the stares he got from his colleagues. He couldn't care less what they thought of him. The bright smile on his face was not going away any time soon, and no one would change that.

___

Ed was undoubtedly anxious about meeting Oswald's mother, but the hand gently gripping his own helped ground his feelings as they headed up the stairs to the apartment. His anxiety had finally set in during the car ride to Oswald's house, replacing the excitement from earlier. Perhaps that was scared of what might happen, or that Oswald had just told him now that he hadn't told his mum who exactly was coming for dinner. He had to count the streetlamps to try and calm down, scared he would make a mess of tonight and make a bad impression. The building seemed old and in bad condition, a council house in need of refurbishment. Ed was not one to judge -his own place on Grundy street was hardly any better- but it's quite the contrast from Penguin's elegant clothing. He wondered where Oswald was getting the clothes from if he lived in such a place.

  
"Relax Ed. She will love you, I promise. Besides, she's been waiting for this day as long as I have" He realised that he was biting his lip again, and stopped immediately. His soulmate's gentle smile is followed by a reassuring squeeze of his hand, before he unlocked the door and walked in.

"Mother, I'm home!"

She seemed wary of him, but as she walked forward to greet him properly she noticed their hands. Oswald beat her to it. "This is Edward"

His mother's eyes widened as she gasped moving forwards to see him, attitude immediately changing, "Oh I am so happy my boy has found you. Such a handsome man you are"

"Nice to meet you Mrs Kapelput" Ed offers his hand to her, but despite her not taking it she smiles.

"Miss Kapelput. Sadly I am not married" Her sad smile quickly shifted to a grin directed at her son, "Such a gentleman. Dinner is cooking now, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

The warmth of their apartment comforted Ed as he talked about his life and job, leaving out certain details that he wasn't comfortable sharing with her. They talked, and laughed, and Ed was able to crack a few jokes and riddles. It was going well. He was having a social interaction that wasn't a disaster. Dinner was just as good as the hospitality. Gertrud's cooking was delicious, but Ed was also curious about the cultural flavours that made it feel more homely in this small apartment. All his anxieties disappeared as he felt welcome into this small family. Oswald was right, Gertrud loved him.

The sun had set hours ago, but it was only when Gertrud got up and softly announced she was tired that Oswald had asked him to stay the night. Ed agreed, partially not wanting this moment to end, and partially because he couldn't be bothered to go back home. It was warm and loving here, unlike the cold apartment he lived in. Oswald bid his mother goodnight as she headed towards her room, but blushed once again when she told him to get the spare matress so they wouldn't be 'tempted to do things'.

He lead Ed to his room, turning the light on and leaving to find the matress. Ed stood awkwardly in the corner waiting for him to come back, looking around the room. It was surprisingly small and empty, with wallpaper that was beginning to discolour and very few furniture. A wooden desk stood by the single window, holding a small set of drawers ontop of it, which had colourful stones neatly placed ontop. An old wooden closet sat nestled in the corner, and a larger set of drawers sat by his bed holding a lamp and a half drunk glass of water. His bed sat against the interior wall in the middle of the room, the black duvet neatly made and dark purple pillows say upright against the headboard.

Ed was about to walk over to look at the stones, when Oswald almost fell back into the room as he wrestled an old matress through the door. He helped him get it in and on the floor, then helped him make the bed when Oswald threw the spare pillows and blanket on his bed. After arguing over who was sleeping on the matress (Oswald wanted Ed to sleep in his bed, but Ed wasn't allowing him to sleep like that with his injury, and he won), they layed in silence just looking at each other.

"I'll warn you, I'm told I talk in my sleep sometimes" Oswald finally grinned sheepishly from his covers. He seemed comfy there, wrapped up in a bundle under his thick duvet. Ed couldn't help but smile back.

"That's ok. I've learnt to sleep through noises" They both laughed quietly, before Oswald sat up and reached for his lamp.

"Goodnight, Ed"

"Night, Oswald"

The light turned off, sending the room into a darkness where to only glow is from the street lamps outside. Ed took his glasses off and placed them on the bedside drawers, before laying back and shutting his eyes, listening the silence of the apartment. However, about five minutes later, he heard Oswald shuffle in bed and whisper his name.

"Ed?"

"Yes, Oswald?" He glanced up at the bed, unable to make out his facial features due to the dark and his lack of glasses. There's a pause, then he whispered quieter. "Could you...could you sleep next to me...?"

More silence, then Ed quietly got up and moved under the covers as the other man move over to make room. Once comfortably wrapped up in the covers, Oswald shuffled over to cuddled close, and both men wrapped their arms around each other. Oswald's head sat in the crook of his neck, his nose gently brushing against his skin as he shut his eyes, and held onto Ed as if he was worried he may disappear if he let go.

They cuddled in silence, the gentle breathing Ed felt against his neck indicated that Oswld had already fallen asleep. He brought a hand up and brushed the hair away from his face, looking at his boyfriend's sleeping form. _His boyfriend_. The term made him smile happily as he leant forward and gently kissed his hair. Hs couldn't be happier.

____

  
They were still in the same position when Ed woke up, and Oseald followed not too long after.

"Morning sleepyhead" Ed mumbled.

Penguin yawned, then leant up to kiss his cheek. They had known each other a day and it felt like they were already married.

Tapping on the window caught his attention, but as he turned to see how someone could possibly reach the second story he was shocked to see two crows on the window seal. Oswald smiled and hobbled over, reaching underneath the desk for a container and scoops the contents up with a plastic cup that was hidden inside. Then, he opened the window and poured what looked like seeds onto the small platform for them to eat. They cawed, and greedily began to peck at the seed as the two men watched. Ed almost panicked when Oswald moved his hand forwards, but picked up an object from by their feet. It was a shiny pebble.

"I've been feeding them for quite some time now. Every so often they'll give me a gift in return, see?" He outstretched his hand to Ed, handing the pebble over. Ed turned it in his fingers, running his thumb down the smooth surface intrigued.

"Did you know some breeds of Penguins present pebbles to potential mates, and if the female penguin accepts it then she keeps the pebble and they become mates? This isn't always the case though, but..." Ed said absent mindedly. He missed Oswald pausing to think, and mixing over to his drawers in search of something. It's only when he turned to see what he was doing that Oswald had faced him and held out a small stone. Not just any stone, it was semi-transparent, emerald green with glitter swirling inside the material. It looked like a fake stone used in jewelry.

"O-Oswald" Was his stunned reply as he turned it over in his hands, "I can't possibly-"

"Nonsense. Take it as a token of my love"

Ed blushed, and pocketed the stone. How romantic, "You don't rely on Penguin mating rituals do you?"

Oswald laughed as he scooped up more bird feed, "Sadly not"

"Wait, how did you know my favourite colour is green?"

By the look on Oswald's face, it was safe to assume he didn't really know. Not entirely. "I had a hunch. I saw it and immediately knew it was the one"

The crows cawed again as the seed had been devoured, and Oswald poured more onto the small platform which seemed to be made out of a long flower pot and a plank of wood.

"When I was a boy, people would compare me to birds. Usually the 'less attractive' ones like pigeons, chickens. It used to upset me a lot, but I soon saw how each bird is beautiful in its own way. People still say I look like them, but it doesn't upset me anymore. I do like them, they're quite interesting animals" He carefully reached out and pet the crow on the right with his index finger, rubbing its feathered breast, "and they don't judge"

Ed watched silently. The bird lifted its beak in the air and flapped its wings, but there was no aggression present. It let him stroke it a bit longer before they flew off, and Oswald shut the window.

The two got dressed and had breakfast, before they left for work. Oswald got in the car with him and his driver headed towards the GCPD first. The two sat in silence, but their hands were entwined on the seat between them. After stealing a quick kiss, Ed jumped out and headed into the building to start another long shift. Much to his delight, they were working with a particularly weird case that involved the travelling circus, which kept his interest for the rest of the day. The boy who was the victims son turned out to be the killer, and while many seemed surprised at the boy's sudden personality change, Ed found it rather fascinating.

The rest of the week was relatively normal, until Jim revived a cold case involving a brutal murder of a young lady. Now _that_ was interesting. Unfortunately, the excitement of a new case such as this was interrupted after Ed stabbed several watermelons to determine the details of the wounds, and carved the watermelon into a nice bowl with cocktail squares to give to Kristen. He found her in the records annex with Tom Dougherty, who acted like he wasn't a huge asshole as he walked out the door. He always hated how Tom managed to act nice at times, just like the manipulative abuser he was. What really make his blood boil was when he noticed the bruises on Kristen's arms. Tom had no right to treat her this way. No one deserved to be abused and mistreated by someone they loved, he had to do something about it.

He decided to confront Dougherty about it, politely asking him to stop mistreating her, but the asshole just moved close and told him that women like Kristen need a rough hand to keep her in place. When he insisted again, he just laughed and asked what he was gonna do about it. The voice inside his head sounded different than usual as he watched Dougherty cross the pricint to his friends, clenching his fists in anger.

  
_Oh I'll_ _show_ _you what I'll do about it..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon events to come will be slightly altered to fit the story, but these should just be dates and some dialogue.


	4. What are friends for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some relationship building caused by Ed's surprising action in attempt to help Kristen, before things start to go south.

Ed had finally had enough of seeing Kristen be hurt and abused by that nasty, sad excuse for a Cop. He was still unsure on his relationship with her, whether they were friends or colleagues, but he just knew that no one deserved to be treated the way Tom treated her. It made him think back to his dad -an abusive man who believed violence was the answer to all of his problems. She deserved so much better. And Ed was not going to let it continue.

That's how he ended up hiding outside Kristen's in his car, watching out for Tom. He knew they were supposed to have a date today so he should run into him. A knife sat in his pocket but he was still concerned over why he brought it in the first place. He thought it was his subconscious telling him to have protection in case something went wrong, but some part of him thought that bringing it was for a different reason entirely. 

After an hour or so of waiting, Dougherty finally came walking down the street towards Kristen's place, and Ed quickly jumped out the car. "Stop right there buster!"

"Riddle man?" The cop asked confused and annoyed as he looked at him, and began to approach him instead "what the hell are you doing creeping around here?" 

"You need to leave Miss Kringle alone" 

"What?" He continued to approach, and Ed's hands shook slightly as he stood his ground. 

"I'm not gonna let you hurt her ever again. I think you need to leave Gotham, tonight" 

Tom laughed and stopped a few steps away from Ed, "Oh I get it now. You've got a thing for my girl! That's too funny. What about your man, Penguin? Got tired of him already or have you seen him for the psycho he really is?" 

How dare he even think to say those words? To imply that? "You're wrong. I love him, and I'd be dammed if that ever changed. I'm here as a friend" 

Tom just laughed again as if the idea of him and Kristen being friends was a joke, and placed a hand on his shoulder gripping it hard. "Don't take this personal" 

Before Ed could even react, a fist flew straight into his stomach causing him to double over in pain, falling to his knees. _W_ _hat are you gonna do about it?_ He shook as he quickly grabbed the knife, and Tom yanked him back to his feet chuckling, "You want some more? Upsie dais-" 

The cop's eyes widen in shock as Ed drove the knife straight into his chest in a panic, hands trembling as he pulled it back out in just the same amount of shock. "Oh dear..." Tom moved to grab him and Ed stabbed him again and again and again, until he had fallen to his knees leant back to stare at him. 

"Riddle man..." Was his very last words before collapsing. 

"Oh dear. Oh dear, oh no" Stumblimg away from the body he began to panic more, gasping as he struggled to breath. His heart hammered in his chest as he looked at the dead body, then at the bloody knife caught between a laugh and a cry. "Oh dear, oh dear" 

He dropped the knife, almost certain he had heard himself laugh, though the only thing coming out of his mouth was the sound if him hyperventilating. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and called the only person he could think of to help him. 

___

Oswald wasn't bothered about Ed calling him in the middle of the night. What he was bothered by was his panicked and hysterical voice on the verge of tears, desperately trying to tell him something through a riddle. He asked Ed to just tell him what was wrong, when he sobbed out that he had killed someone and needed his help. It was troubling, to say the least, but Oswald had dressed himself in record speed, called Gabe to pick him up, and raced down to where Ed was. 

His soulmate was pacing up and down the pathway, mumbling numbers under his breath as he turned and walked the other way. As he got closer, he realised that Ed was counting up to 8, turning and taking another 8 steps. He also noticed how Ed saw him on his fourth step, but had to walk the next 4 before rusing over to him. 

"Oswald, I'm sorry I had no one else to ask! He hit me and I just panicked and stabbed him and I-"

Oswald held his hand up to cut him off, concern swimming in his eyes despite the calmness on his face, "Where is the body now?"

"I move with a car and go the same speed, I open and close to hold what you need-" 

"Ed" 

With a shaky sigh, Ed pointed to the car trunk "I was scared someone would see so I hid him in there" 

"Ok well we'll take him and hide the body somewhere. Perhaps throw him in the river by the docks-" 

"No! No, what if it resurfaces? The CCPD has chemicals that could dissolve the body and we can hide the bones. Do you have somewhere with a large sink or bath like container?" 

Penguin raised his eyebrows, though considering he worked in forensics it was not surprising he knew a thing about dead bodies, or how to hide one. "Yes, a warehouse. You collect the chemicals and then we'll dispose of this body together"

"Thank you" His partner sighed and headed back to the car, when a female called across the street to him. 

"Mister Nygma?"

_Oh dear, Miss Kringle._ _What if she saw?_

"Mi-miss Kringle?" Ed looked like a deer in headlights as he looked back at her, "What are you doing here?" _It's her house dummy,_ _she_ _lives here._

"I live here...? What are you-" She glanced over at Oswald finally noticing him as he goes to stand beside Ed, "and Mr Cobblepot doing here?" 

"We were on our way home and had to pull over as Ed wasn't feeling too well. We don't mean to be a bother" Oswald answered with a smile, "We were just leaving" 

The woman didn't seem entirely convinced, but she just nodded and turned to go back inside when she paused, "You haven't seen Tom out here have you?" 

Ed looked ready to pass out, "I have...not..." 

Kristen gave him a look, but nodded and sighed looking down the pathway, "Goodnight"

Once she left, the two hopped in the car and drove down to the CCPD. Oswald wasn't really ok with Ed driving in this state, but he had never got his license and other people drove him so he wasn't much use. The car ride was silent, except for Ed's shaky breathing. The police department wasn't far from Kristen's house, so it took little time to get there. They pulled up, and Ed stared at the wheel intensely for a minute before jumping out, grabbing a backpack from the back seat.

He slowly headed up the steps and headed towards the morgue, keeping his head down to try and avoid drawing attention to himself. He repeated the same phrase to try and settle his nerves. _No body, no crime. No body, no crime. No body, no crime. No body, no-_

"Hey Ed, didn't your shift end already?" Jim asked coming out of nowhere. 

"Oh...yes. Yes, I just...need to get something" Jim nodded slowly, but didn't move, "Can I help you with something, detective?"

"Ah, no. Nevermind. Have a good evening" The detective walked to his desk, and Ed took a breath walking to the morgue. He quickly pulled the bag off his back and went to the cupboards, grabbing two jugs of acid from the cupboard and throwing it in along with a few power tools, gloves and the respirator. Oswald probably had them at the warehouse, but he wanted to make sure. As long as he brought it back tomorrow no one would know, right? Once the materials were collected, he zipped the bag up with difficulty and hastily left before anyone could question him. He jumped back in the car, and, with Oswald directing him, they drove towards the warehouse, which was located down by the docks. 

The two got out, and Ed retrieved Dougherty's body while Oswald went over to unlock the door. It was cold and dark in there, but there was a metal, bath like tub tucked away in one of the corners. "Thank you for helping me" Ed sighed as he carried the body over and dumped it in. He placed the bag down and pulled out the power tools, undressing the dead cop before dismembering him. 

Oswald stood and watched amazed, but worried. Ed was too quiet. He couldn't tell what his partner was feeling or thinking as he cut the limbs off so the man could fit properly inside. Once Ed had finished, he pulled out some gloves, a respirator and two jugs of acid pouring it in over the body parts, then added some water. Then, once he had finished that, he pulled the gloves and respirator off and sat down in the floor with his head in his hands. Oswald sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his body, and kissed his cheek.

"What happened, Eddie" 

Ed probably would've blushed at the nickname if he wasn't so horrified at himself. "There's a lady, Kristen, the one who saw us outside her house. I want to be her friend, but I'm not sure if she likes me very much. Her boyfriend, this guy here, was an abusive asshole who kept hurting her. I just wanted to protect her, to get him to stop. But men like Officer Dougherty don't change" He though back to his father, and how after 18 years he didn't realise that neglecting and beating your child was bad parenting. "I asked him to stop but he attacked me, and I stabbed him out of self defence. But...once I did it...I couldn't stop. It was like I lost control of my emotions" 

"Eddie...it's ok. You meant well. It was an accident" 

He didn't answer. Instead, he just sighed and sat in silence for a while, resting his head on Oswald's shoulder. After a while, the two decided to go for a little walk while they waited for the body to decompose, but they didn't get far until Oswald's leg had enough. The cold, fresh air of the sea helped ground Ed for a while longer, and keep him from throwing up. 

  
It took hours until the flesh and muscle had been dissolved, or at least tender enough to pull off of the bones. Ed pulled his equipment back on and drained the liquid, before pulling the remaining tissue and muscle from the bones until they we mostly clean. They stuffed the bones in a bag, and Ed drove to a secluded place on the outskirts of Gotham to bury the remains before heading home.

The sun had begun to rise over the city as he parked his car outside his own apartment, taking a shaky breath. The adrenaline of tonight's events had managed to keep him from panicking too much, but now the consequences of his actions were becoming very apparent. When they got out, and Oswald grabbed his hand noticing that he was beginning to tremble again as they headed inside. 

Ed walked inside and took a look at his apartment, then almost burst into tears, "I'm so sorry"

"Whatever for?"

"I only have one bed" 

Oswald stared at his partner bewildered, "Ed, we slept in the same bed before do you remember? It's ok-"

"No no, that was different. I wasn't a murderer back then" 

What? Why was he self conscious about this to Oswald of all people? "Ed, I've killed people, sometimes for no reason. The people I work with killed people too. I still love you, please don't think otherwise. It's okay, I promise"

Ed just sniffed and moved over to pull him into a hug, leaning down to bury his face into his shoulder and sobbed out another apology. Oswald frowned as he held him close, unsure why Ed was scared that he'd think differently of him now. Perhaps it was shock. It couldn't just be because he killed someone. Or perhaps something else was going on. 

"Get changed and get into bed, I'll get you a drink. What would you like?" 

"Water. The cups are above the sink" 

Oswald moved to the kitchen area and opens the cupboard to get a glass. There were a few glasses in there, and a couple of measuring beakers too. He grabbed a glass, filled it with water and brought it back for him. They climbed into bed, and Oswald pulled him into a hug mumbling comforting things to him. Ed just sobbed into his chest for a while until he finally drifted to sleep, and Oswald wondered how the hell he was going to help him through this. 

___

It was Oswald's idea to write a letter, saying that Tom had left town. But now Ed was regretting it. He hadn't noticed at the time when he had wrote it, but he had left a fairly obvious clue in the letter. The first letter of each line spelt out his last name. That was too obvious, why did he write that? It only set in when Kristen told him about it and he told her to read between the lines, but as he left the amusement behind his clue wore off and was replaced with dread.

His emotions were all over the place since the murder. It often felt like he had no control over them, that sometimes he was someone else. Like things he shouldn't be happy about suddenly did, and he couldn't control it until the grip wore off and he felt the emotions he would in the situation. It scared him. He had also felt himself dissociate more often, for no clear reason. Before it was during extreme stress or fear, like when his dad came home drunk and he fell in the crossfire of his rage, or being outed to everyone because Flass couldn't be nice. Now, it happened without warning and without reason. Why? 

Ed had found himself in the records annex looking for a file when he began to zone off, staring off at the top of the filling cabinets ahead of him. He wasn't even aware he was doing it until he was snapped out by Krsiten's voice. "Uh, Mister Nygma?"

"Miss Kringle..." He looked down at the folders, blinked a few times in confusion and began to search through again.

"I just noticed something really weird..." 

As he turned to glance at her, he noticed 'Dougherty's' letter in her hands and his heart skipped a beat. "Oh?"

"This note that Officer Dougherty left me...the first letter if every line spells out your name" Kristen held the letter out for him to see, and used her finger to point out the letters. It was intentionally left there, but all Ed could do was try not to panic and curse himself for his own stupidness. Why did he still leave the letter after he noticed the clue? 

"O-oh yes, wha-what an amazing coincidence"

"Coincidence?"

"What else could it be?" 

Her eyes narrow slightly, unconvinced, "So you know nothing about this? 

"I- me? No. No. Nooo..." He tried to smile but she was staring at him like she knew. It wasn't even a lie, not entirely. Ed hadn't even noticed until he had left the letter, it was like he had no control over his body sometimes. Theres a brief pause as she continued to stare at him, then turned and walked away. As soon as she was gone, Ed broke out into laughter.

"Why are you laughing you fool, this isn't funny..." _what a creep._ "She'll keep digging..." He slammed his hands down on the drawers angrily, "Why did you have to leave a clue? ...Relax...what can she find, what can she prove? Nothing, there's no body" 

The expression on her face flashed across his mind causing him to frown. He did it for her, she needed to understand that. "But she looked so sad and angry, I hate it when she looks at me that way..." 

Part of him felt like he was losing part of himself. Something was happening but he couldn't figure out what it was, as if the voice in his head was more than a voice. _Oh please, like you stood a chance. She knows how you feel and yet she treats you like dirt._

"I don't care, I still like her" Ed whispered to himself, but his inner voice was growing louder. _Listen to yourself! Be-_

"Be a man!" He cried as he slammed the drawer closed again, hands trembling as he began to feel angry towards himself, but fearful of what might happen. His emotions consistently shifted between the two as he continued to argue with himself. 

**"** **You'll do better with that woman if she's a little bit scared of you"** The voice chuckled. It almost sounded like it was speaking outside his head. 

"Stop talking like that" That voice, it was the one laughing when Tom died.

**"What's black and white and red all over-"**

"Stop it!" Ed cried, throwing the folder he was holding causing paper to fly everywhere. It felt like a part of him was breaking away, and he shook as he realised that the voice wasn't just his inner voice anymore. It was as if he was splitting in half. He began to laugh to himself, though he was unsure why. Maybe he was truly going mad. Kristen's voice echoed through his brain and he trembled, breathing hard. _He is so weird._

Kristen...


	5. Shattered relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for the worse as Gallavan rises to power, and Ed begins to deal with guilt and his troubling alter personality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, probably the longest I've ever wrote, so I'm sorry for any mistakes made or if they're slightly out of character.
> 
> Also, once again, events have changed slightly to fit the story - in this case, the date of Gallavan's party.
> 
> Possible trigger warning for suicidal thoughts.

Tom Dougherty's death only had one -no- two positive outcomes. One, Kristen was safe and seemed a lot happier now she wasn't being hit and gas lighted; two, her and Ed finally managed to become friends. She would greet him with a bright smile instead of a nervous posture, and didn't mind so much when he would take a bit too long to leave the annex. Ed was delighted at their newfound friendship, he even took a bullet for her during the Maniax attack on the GCPD, but he couldn't ignore the guilty twist in his heart everytime she looked at him like he was a hero. He knew Tom deserved it, so why was he feeling so guilty?

His alter personality was slowly growing stronger every day, and Ed was feeling uneasy everytime he saw it appear. It wasn't just the man in the mirror, or the voice in his head, but now it was a physical 'hallucination' which Ed could sense and feel as if it was a real person. It kept trying to convince him that he had rightfully won her friendship, but Ed would always argue back that it felt like he was lying to her. And Ed couldn't stand being a liar. He had to confess soon, or he would probably feel crazier than he already was.

His relationship with Oswald on the other hand, seemed to be taking a turn for the worst. The arrival of Theo Gallavan to Gotham seemed to change him. He appeared more agitated than usual, but refused to tell Ed what was wrong until he finally broke down once Ed had mentioned the attacks on the mayoral candidates and the buildings being burned down. He confessed that he had murdered the other candidates and got someone to burn down the buildings, because Gallavan was holding his mother captive. The news made him sick to his stomach. A man who was perceived as a hero in Gotham had kidnapped and tortured a defenceless old woman to use as leverage. Ed didn't doubt that Gertrud Kapelput could defend herself if need be, but the memories he had of meeting her only brought forward the image of a kind, fragile woman who was unaware of her son's real business.

No one else seemed to notice something was wrong with Gallavan's actions. Ed had replayed the tape from the night he murdered Jerome Valeska over and over again, and found that Gallavan's acting was awful to say the least. Now the anxiety over Bruce Wayne's fate was gone, Ed could see the small flaws in his performance, one being the way he looked at the camera when he said his name. Highly unrealistic, too dramatic. How had he missed that? Another flaw was the fact he could see the two exchanging words before Jerome died, and though he couldn't make out what they were, Ed couldn't help but feel like Gallavan wasn't mumbling righteous justice.

A week or so went by when Ed was woken up by frantic knocking at his door that echoed through the room obnoxiously loud. He groaned as he looked at his clock to see it was 3:42 AM. Who was it at this time? Sliding out of bed, Ed grabbed his glasses and walked to the door, cautiously opening it. Oswald flew straight into his arms shaking and held onto him tight.

"Woah, Oswld what's wrong?"

"Gallavan, he...he..." Tears fell down his face as he looked up at Ed heartbroken, eyes red from crying. Ed held him close as he let out a choked sob, "He killed her, Ed. She died in my arms"

"Oswald" His eyes widened in shock, "I'm so, so sorry"

"It's my fault. It's all my fault" His voice was barely above a whisper this time, cracking in pain as he buried his face in Ed's shoulder and cried.

"Listen to me, it is not your fault. You hear me? Don't blame yourself" He tried, but Oswald just cried harder as he mumbled into his shirt. Ed shut the door, then lead him back to his bed to cradle him in his arms, stroking his hair and trying to calm him down. But Oswald was so utterly broken by her death, and Ed could understand why. Gertrud was the only one there for him, as his dad was dead and his peers were cruel. Ed loved her too, she showed him what a real family looked like instead of his own experience. She was more of a mother to him that his own one ever as.

Through his own greif of the news, anger blossomed. Gallavan had fooled the city into thinking he was a hero, but he was nothing more than a manipulative criminal. Kidnapping and torturing an old woman just to blackmail Oswald, and then killing her after Oswald did what he said? That's just plain evil.

Ed rocked him gently as he took his shoes off, and pulled the covers over them both as his partner cried himself to sleep. Heart aching in his chest, Ed himself let out a few tears and made a promise to Gertrud that he would take care of her son for her.

When Oswald first woke up, there was no emotion on his face. His eyes seemed dull and lifeless as he stared ahead.

"Morning, Os"

There was no reply at first. He sniffled and cuddled closer, then whispered into his shirt. Ed almost missed what he had said. "Tell me it was just a dream. Tell me it was a nightmare"

He sighed, "I'm so sorry"

Oswald immediately dissolved into sobs once again, trembling in his arms. "If it wasn't for me she would still be alive"

"That's not true"

"It is! If I had just waited...i-if I had just done what I was told...if i was stronger she would still be here"

"If you waited it out and let him control you, then he would've killed you both as soon as you were useless to him. Oswald, there was nothing you could do"

To his surprise, Oswald pushed him away, sitting up glaring, "It is my fault, Edward! Tabitha may have stabbed her, but I am the one who killed her!"

"Listen to yourself! You're grieving I get that, but it's **not** your fault!" Ed tried to stop him, but his partner just grabbed his shoes and angrily hobbled to the door as more tears fell down his face. Ed rushed over and grabbed his arm trying to stop him from leaving, as he struggled in his grip "You did what you could, but you ca-"

Slap!

Ed let go and gasped as his cheek stung, staring at Oswald in shock, who immediately looked regretful. "Ed, I..." Oswald shook his head sniffing, then used the opportunity to run. Ed slowly moved a hand to the stinging on his face, and sat down on his bed in silence until his work alarm went off.

___

The slap had distracted him during work, and he couldn't help but feel a mixture of anger and anxiety. He was only trying to help Oswald with his grief, he didn't have to slap him. Then again, maybe grabbing him was a bad decision. Penguin was known to have 'tantrums' and a short fuse, and losing the only other person he loved must be hard on him. He argued with his voice all morning, trying to push away the negativity it was trying to force on him. Oswald didn't mean it. He looked sorry as soon as he slapped him. They're okay. 

  
Both the argument with Oswald and his guilt over Dougherty was beginning to effect him greatly, and Ed finally decided he couldn't take it anymore. He had to tell her. She deserved the truth, even if it was horrifying. After scribbling his adress on a spare piece of paper, Ed went to find her her. He would confess tonight. 

"Miss Kringle?" 

She was once again surrounded by male cops, but he knew she wasn't with any of them. Anxiety rushed down his spine as he saw her turn to look at him, and smile widely, "Mr Nygma" 

"Dinner. My place tonight. I want to talk to you about something" 

Seemingly surprised, she only managed to smile wider and nod in agreement as he walked out onto the balcony. Jim and Bullock walked up the steps towards their desks as Ed came over, and he finally decided to confront him about Gallavan. If anyone could help, it was Jim. Oswald deserved justice and even if Jim didn't like Oswald, he cared about the law. "Jim I have to talk to you about something" 

"I have to-"

"It's about Gallavan"

As expected, Jim's eyes widened and he nodded, allowing Ed to speak. He glanced around before explaining the situation, "Gallavan murdered Oswald's mother"

"He what-"

"He kidnapped her, tortured her and blackmailed Oswald into killing the other candidates and torching the buildings. Then, his sister killed her in front of Oswald and she died in his arms. He is innocent, he doesn't deserve to be hunted down!"

"How- you know what, nevermind. You should tell Barnes" Bullock said. Ed agreed and followed them into the office, where Barnes was sorting out some documents. Jim cleared his throat, and Barnes looked up linking his fingers.

"Sir, we have a case against Gallavan"

"Gallavan? Jim-"

"Captain, Oswald is innocent. He was blackmailed into committing those crimes by Gallavan, as he was holding his mother captive. You cannot go through with prosecuting him!" Ed cut him off, much to the Captain's surprise.

"How do you know this?"

"He told me, sir. I've seen him go through this while Gallavan is getting away with it"

"Right, so we should believe a criminal over a mayoral candidate?" Barnes sat up in his seat, and Ed tried his best to keep his anger under control, "What's your relationship with Penguin, where is he?"

"He is my soulmate, Captain. I will not let you hurt him more than he has been" He straighted his back, "I do not know where Oswald is. He left this morning and I haven't heard from him since. But with all do respect Captain, I wouldn't tell you even if I did know"

Barnes sighed. "This is the next potential mayor, Nygma, why would he frame Penguin?"

"He's fooled the entire city into thinking he's some hero, when he really he is-"

"Captain Barnes" Ed's heart leapt when he heard Gallavan right behind him, and it took all of his self restraint not to snap there and then. There was a very light gash on his neck that he pointed at and declare that Oswald had attacked him after he refused to form an alliance, which just made Ed's blood boil. It didn't even sound like him, how could anyone belive this nonsense?

"You're a liar! You know full well why he attacked you" Ed snarled at him, who looked at him in shock at first, but his eyes filled with curiosity at who this was defending Oswald.

"I agree sir, that seems like an overreaction, even from Penguin" Jim added on, though Gallavan focused all his attention on Ed, who in return was glaring daggers at him.

"And who might you be?"

He wanted to tell him, but he couldn't risk being another target. So, he clenched his jaw and glared, "Despised I am by knave and liar. After me, the wise inquire, I rise above all death and fire. What am I?"

"What-?"

"The truth. I know the truth Mr Gallavan, and I will make sure everyone knows who you really are" Despite it being risky to threaten him, Ed couldn't help but feel satisfied by the look in his eyes.

"Nygma! That's enough! Back to work now!" Barnes rose to his feet looking frustrated.

"Sir-"

"You come in here with your mad ravings, siding with a wanted criminal. You're lucky I don't arrest you for harbouring a fugitive"

"It's not that you don't trust what I'm saying, you just don't want to believe it. Oswald is innocent, and I'll prove it" Ed turned and glared at Gallavan, lowering his voice, "You'll pay for what you did to them"

As he left, he heard Jim trying to get through to Barnes, but the Captain wouldn't listen. He couldn't seem to belive that Oswald was innocent and a victim in this situation. For someone who preached about justice, he sure was biased.

___

Ed was deep in thought when he heard a knock at his door later that night. He had only just finished cooking dinner and was sat on his bed, so he got up and answered it. Kristen smiled at him. She looked beautiful. "When you said dinner, I thought you meant at a restaurant" Kristen smiled, holding up the adress he had written on the paper. 

"Oh no, I cooked. I'm really good at it I promise" He smiled back and took her coat hanging it up, and walked back to the dining table. "I hope you like it" 

They sat and ate dinner, talking together as friends. Ed was still anxious about confessing, but Kristen seemed unaware of it. Or maybe she had forgotten that he wanted to discuss something with her over dinner. She appeared to enjoy his cooking, which was an unsurprising relief. As she sipped her drink, Ed sighed and decided to ask something that was on his mind. 

"Why...did you date men like Dougherty and Flass?" He asked her slowly, not wanting to offend her in any way. Kristen sighed, hesitating momentarily, before rolling both her sleeves up and showing him her bare arms. There was no name. She was unbonded. "Kristen...I'm so sorry"

She shook her head pulling them back down, "It's fine. I dated men like Tom and Arnold because I wanted to find someone like me, or someone who wanted to be with me. I knew they had names already, and I knew they were the type of men who couldn't wait to find their soulmate so they preferred to find a willing partner until that changed. It wouldn't last. They'd unite and then I'd be alone again. But...not anymore..." Ed's heart lurched when she lent across to take his hand, unsure what that was supposed to mean.

"Kristen..."

There was no reply as she stared down at his hand for a while, tracing along the tendons and knuckles, before she finally talked, "You're the only nice guy I've met in years, Ed. I'm not afraid to be around you like I was with them. I know you have Penguin, and I'm so happy you two are finally together" He almost sensed a but, though one never came. Was he just reading the situation wrong?

"I'm scared Dougherty might come back. He made some threats, and...what if..." Her eyes glistened with tears behind her glasses, "What if he acts on them when I refuse to take him back?"

Ed's emotions immediately turned hearing that and the tremble in her voice. He placed another hand over her's, "Kristen, you never have to worry about him ever again. He can't hurt you anymore"

"That's sweet, Ed, but you don't know that"

 ** _Tell her._** The voice inside his head whispered to him, not daring to make an appearance this time.

"...Yes... I do. That's why I asked you to come here"

If it wasn't for the anxiety already building up, he would've panicked at how fast her face fell again. Confusion and nervousness crossed her eyes, "What do you mean?"

"Um...Some time ago, he and I had an altercation. I asked him to treat you with more respect. And he said he would treat you any way he liked and he assaulted me. So, anyhow, long story short I killed him" He explains nonchalantly.

Theres a beat of silence, before she smiled and sighed "Oh, Ed, that's- you had me going for a minute there"

"It was outside of your apartment under the elevated train. I stabbed him and he died"

"Ed, that's not funny" Her tone became serious, skin paling in panic as she began to realise the gravity of the situation. 

"I'm not being funny" Walking over to his bedside drawers, Ed retrieved the badge and placed it on the table in front of her. Her eyes widened as she read the name.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Oh, my God" Her whispered response comes out shaky and panicked as she jumped to her feet, backing away from him towards the door.

"What's wrong?"

"How could you?" Kristen glared at him through the tears clouding her eyes. Why was she so angry? She said herself she was scared of him, she should be glad he's gone. Ed took a step towards her but she flinched away trembling.

"Where are you going? Would you please let me explain?" Panic began to set in for him as well, realising she was bound to turn him in. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't be arrested.

"There is nothing to explain. I don't even know who you are. You are a _murderer_ "

"He was a monster! You said so! He was abusing you!"

 _ **She's ungrateful.**_ The voice in his brain whispered to him.

"I can't believe I even fell for your lies, you sicko!" She spat, venom soaking her words, but Ed was far more hurt that Dougherty was important enough to her for her to be upset about this. If anyone deserved to die it was him. And Gallavan, but that one wasn't for him to decide.

"I'm not sick. I did it for you"

"Everything I ever thought about you, I was right. I should have my head examined!"

_Looser_ _. Weirdo. Pervert. Creep._

"Don't. Say. That"

"Wait, what were you doing outside my house? You lied didn't you? You weren't going home with Penguin"

"I was worried for you"

"You were stalking me. You're a psychopath!"

_Psycho_ _. Sicko. Freak._

"That is not true! That's not who I am! Don't say that about me!" His voice began to tremble in a mixture of anger and sadness. All his life he'd heard similar things, but none of them hurt as much as this did. He did it for her. She was the reason he killed someone.

"You are going to prison where they will do horrible things to you. Things that you deserve!" Kristen finally turned and ran for the door, but Ed swiftly rushed over and grabbed her by the arms slamming the door shut once again. She struggled screaming for help, and Ed couldn't control his anger as he gripped tightly.

"Don't say that to me!"

"No, let go. Don't touch me! Let go of me, you freak!"

_Freak_ _. Freak. Freak. He's so weird._

"Please don't call me that" Ed's voice cracked in pain as she struggled under his grip crying out for help. He threw a hand over her mouth and moved his hands to pin her properly so he could try and explain his actions. Her eyes widened in panic, but he did not realise he had grabbed her throat.

"Listen to me. I am not the man that you think I am. I would never do anything to hurt you. I had to kill him because he hit you. Do you understand that? I did it for you. I promise I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Kristen?" She seemed oddly still and quiet. "Kristen?"

Removing his hands, her lifeless body slid down the door and crumpled on the floor. He shook in horror staring at her, lungs constricting and heart racing. Red hand prints marked her neck, mocking Ed as he took a step back panicking. "Oh, no no nonononono"

_Be careful around him Kristen. He'll_ _probably_ _strangle you to death if you get too close._

"No, nonono. Oh no- plea- Oh no" A choked sob escaped his mouth as he fell to his knees in front of her, hands moving to touch her face as if to see if she was pretending. But her body remained limp, glossy eyes open but unseeing, though it felt like they were staring back at him with betrayal. "Please, no". He held her in his arms and cried, ignoring the feeling of his alter self's presence behind him.

He had just killed his only friend in anger. What if he hurt Oswald too?

___

  
Ed hadn't even realised he had fallen asleep until he woke up the next morning, head feeling cloudy as if he hadn't slept at all. He pushed his glasses up his face and turned around when he heard himself speak. His alter self stood by the window with a Cheshire grin on his face that only sent an uneasy feeling through Ed's body.

**"Rise and shine".**

"...What are you doing here?"

**"** **I'm** **here** **to help with the mess you made last night. Yikes"**

"That was an accident. I'm not that man. I'm gonna make this right" Ed mumbled to himself, taking his glasses off to wipe his eyes.

**"See, I knew you'd wake up all boo-hooey. You probably have half a mind to turn yourself in. Luckily, I have the other half. Do you like magic tricks?"**

"What?" He frowned as the uneasiness only grew inside him. Something was terribly wrong.

**"Of course you like magic tricks. After all, I do. Well, guess what? I can make a body disappear"**

Oh dear, that's what' was wrong. He looked at the bed and froze in horror seeing Krsiten gone. "Where is she? Where is Miss Kringle's body?"

**"Open the envelope"**

Envelope? Ed spotted a purple envelope leant against his pillow, decorated with a green question mark. He ripped it open and read the letter anxiously _"_ _I hid her body while you were catching some Zs, you'll need a helping hand, so look for her initials down at the GCPD._ _"_

Beginning to feel nauseous, he looked at himself both horrified and angry. He didn't trust this other personality at all, as it only appeared to have a desire for blood and violence. "You went to my work last night?"

**"Well, technically, you did. I was just in the driver's seat, so to speak"**

"How? You're a figment of my imagination. A projection of impulse, nothing more!"

 **"That is uncalled for"** It frowned with fake offense.

"Uncalled for? You hijacked my body while I was asleep and you stole my dead friend!"

It laughed gleefully, crossing it's arms **"Okay. Yeah, that's true. But I'm doing this for your own good"** then, it paused, face suddenly becoming unreadable, **"** **Although, w** **hile** **I** **was doing that, you should see what our dear Penguin did"** As it moved it's head to the TV, Ed's heart dropped and he rushed over to turn it on. Luckily the last channel he had on was the news, so he immediately found what he was searching for.

"Last night, newly elected mayor, Theo Gallavan, was targeting during his celebratory ball by kingpin criminal Oswald Cobblepot, more commonly known as Penguin. The mayor was escorted to safety, though Penguin was reportedly shot during the process and fled the scene. If you see this man, immediately call the local police department"

Ed's heart practically stopped as he stared at his soulmate's photo as it appeared on screen. Oswald. Why do you have to be reckless?

Jumping to his feet, Ed frantically searched for his phone and rung his partner's number. There was no answer. He tried again and again, but Oswald never picked up. Where was he? Was he okay? Oswald was alone and wounded somewhere within the city, and Ed wouldn't be able to find him or know he was ok. And hopefully not dead. Wait. Dead...

Kristen.

His other personality appeared beside the drawers, leaning against it with it's arms folded as it frowned, and sighed **"If I was you... which, again, I sort of am... I'd get cracking. You do want to find the body first, right?"**

___

  
Finding Kristen's body was nerve wracking to say the least. Being lead on a scavenger hunt for a dead body through a building full of cops was probably the second most terrifying thing he had ever been through. He had no idea how long she had been hid here, or how well it had hid his body to prevent being found. The hand in the vending machine was the first clue, which lead him to the M.E where the body had been stored.

When Lee Tompkins walked in on him, Ed almost had a panic attack. He managed to convince her he was looking at a Jane Doe case, and was just a bit upset about a fight he had with Oswald. Which wasn't very hard because he still _was_ upset with that fight, even if he was definitely more concerned about him being shot last night. She offered to take him out for coffee and give him some relationship advice, and although he didn't want to, Ed agreed so she would leave and prayed that no one found her body before he got back.

She was actually very helpful with her advice, if only Ed wasn't so nervous about someone finding Kristen. He stared intently into his coffee as she talked, only snapping out of his daze when she stopped talking to look at him. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh. Just dandy, thank you" He forced a smile, but she didn't look convinced. Clearing his thoat, he sighed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "actually...I know what you said about Oswald, but I'm still worried about him. He didn't pick up the phone, and I heard the news. He got shot. What if something bad happened?"

"Jim said he was only shot in the shoulder" **Of course he did.** "And although there's a chance of it hitting an artery, I'm sure he wouldn't have been able to drive away if that was the case. Don't worry Ed, he'll turn up. He always does"

It felt weird for Lee to say that to him. Perhaps Jim had told her about the whole 'Killing Oswald on the pier' thing, but Ed knew about Maroni trying to crush him in a car. She was right; his bird seemed to cheat death a lot.

"Thank you" He sighed, and stirred his untouched coffee for the fifth time. _Three stirs_ _clockwise_ _, two stirs anticlockwise._

"Oh! Um...have you seen Kristen Kringle?" _Oh no_ "I asked other people and they said she was having dinner at your's last night, but she hasn't turned up to work and didn't phone in sick"

"She left last night...I really haven't seen her since" Technically the truth. Lee frowned and said something else, but Ed was distracted by his alter personality appearing behind her and tapping it's wrist to mimic a watch, implying he should hurry up.

"Um, well this has been nice buy I think I should get back to that case, goodbye" Ed said rising from his sest and leaving without waiting for a reply.

____

The body was still there when he got back, just as lifeless and grey as it was. A wave of sadness and guilt rushed through him as he stared at her corpse, the ghost of an apology caught on his lips. There was no use apologising. He was aware of a presence behind him, despite how quiet it had been for once. 

"I want to know why you did this"

**"** **When Dr. Thompkins walked in the room, how did it feel?"**

"I was terrified. She could have discovered the body"

" **But she didn't. You got away with it"**

"That's not the point"

" **That is absolutely the point!"** It yelled at him, before pausing and slowly stalking closer. Ed didn't even have to see it; he could feel its presence. It spoke lowly, almost a growl, voice occasionally echoing, " **You can still feel the rush, can't you? Coming so close to getting caught. Knowing what you would have been forced to do if she had discovered the body, discovered what you had done"** A cold, electric chill shot up his spine as he felt its breath on the back of his neck. His head twitched, as his stomach filled with the same adrenaline sensation he had when Lee came in. Fear...excitement. Oh god, it was right! **"Standing... standing at the edge of uncertainty and peering into the void. Now tell me, how did it feel?"**

The presence finally disappeared as Ed shut his eyes gently, feeling more complete than he had since his first murder. He searched his feelings, and realsied that other Ed was right. But of course he was right. He was just a projection of the repressed dark side that had always been inside him, but now he was willing to embrace him.

"Beautiful" Ed finally answered himself with a grin, and turned on the power saw. Looking at Kristen no longer gave him stabs of guilt or misery. Only a thrilling rush.

___

  
Burying Kristen was surprisingly the harder part of the task. He decided to bury her in the same grave as Dougherty, even going as far as to make a picnic as a send off, when a man had stumbled across the grave. Ed killed him without hesitation, but now he had to cut yet _another_ body up as his shovel had broke on impact. As he walked back to the grave to sort out the new dead body, he turned to noticed that his sandwiches had been stolen. "Who has eaten my sandwiches?" He groaned to himself, walking over to try and see if there was any sign or trail. Droplets of blood stain the grass and plants around the picnic blanket, causing Ed to smirk and follow the trail.

However, the person must've ran or at least had a huge head start, since the trail kept going and going, and the sun just kept on sinking beneath the trees. He pulled the flashlight out of his coat pocket, now feeling slightly uneasy as he tried to follow the blood in the dark. Soon, he heard dogs barking, and a faint glow up ahead. He ran towards the glow to find a trailer in the woods. What was this doing here?

Slowly making his way over, Ed walked to the door and tried to peak in but it immediately swung open, hitting him in the face. His glasses flew off as he fell back, also dropping the light. The person walked towards him, a limp making him look almost like a zombie, as Ed frantically searched for his glasses panicking. They raised something above their head, then paused staring at him. Ed managed to grab his glasses and looked at the man, gasping when he saw Oswald staring back at him with wide eyes. His partner stumbled slightly, then collapsed to his knees.

"Oh my, Oswald?"

"Help me...please" He whimpered, before passing out in front of him. It took a few seconds to register what happened, but once it did, Ed gently picked him up and started to head back down the trail to the car. Oswald remained unconscious as Ed finished up with the grave, all through the car journey home, and when Ed carried him in.

He layed his partner on the bed, gently removing the waistcoat and tie to see the large puddle of blood soaking through the shoulder of his shirt. "Oh Ozzie, why didn't you come to me?" He mumbled as he unbuttoned it, and carefully removed it as the material stuck to his skin from the dried blood. The wound had been poorly tended to, with a cloth tied around his shoulder to try and stop the bleeding, but of course that was not effective. He retrieved the first aid kit and began cleaning the blood from the area, and then cleaning the wound itself which appeared to be from a bullet. After checking to see if the bullet was still in there, Ed collected the needle and thread and sewed the injury up.

Ed sighed, looking at his soulmate sadly. Oswald was pale and sickly, and almost cold to the touch. If Ed hadn't found him, how much longer would he have bled out? He removed the rest of the clothing and threw them away as they stunk, then dressed him in his own clothes which were too big for him. Ed layed beside him once that was done, but found he could not sleep, so he sat at the dining table reading until the other woke up.

Oswald mumbled in his sleep, mostly calling for his mum and whimpering, sounding distressed but Ed could not wake him. A few times he caught Oswald mumbling in a different language entirely, mostly repeating what sounded like, "Anyu" and "hiányzol".

Oswald later stirred in the early hours of the morning, as the sun once again rose. Ed quickly filled a glass with water and a paper straw, before moving over to the bed. His eyes slowly fluttered open, revealing those cold eyes to be just as dull and lifeless as they were when he left two days ago, perhaps even more.

"Morning love" He offered the glass but Oswald just stared at it blankly, then at Ed with the most defeated look he'd ever seen. Putting the glass on the side with a sigh, Ed moved closer to take his hand and ask the question that bugged him. "Why didn't you come to me when you were shot?"

Oswald avoided his eyes, "I was ashamed of my failure and weakness, Ed. I'm not the man I was and I fear I may not ever be again. I couldn't let you see me like this" He chewed his lip glancing away, "I was also ashamed of hitting you that morning, you were just trying to help" Pausing for a second, Oswald finally added on in a voice just above a whisper. But Ed still caught it, "perhaps I had hoped to die in that trailer, it would've been better that way"

"Oswald" Ed frowned. He knew Oswald's greif and depression was bad, but he didn't realise it was _this_ bad. It was lucky he held out this long.

"If it wasn't for me my mother would still be alive. I was going to do her death justice but...Gallavan won. I realise now that I truly can't beat him"

"Yes you can, you're the Penguin!"

"Not anymore. I'm giving it up. As soon as I get better I'm leaving Gotham behind"

With that, Oswald rolled over so his back was facing Ed, and curled up under the covers. Ed had no idea what to do. He sat there for a while, before he heard soft humming from under the covers. The lullaby that Oswald had mentioned a while ago. Ed should find it, perhaps it would make him feel better.

His injuries were healing fine, but Oswald's mood did not. He spent the day sleeping or staring blankly at the wall, just like when his mother died. The fire inside him had long died out, and the man in Ed's bed was broken.

It was only later that night that Oswald finally spoke in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "Ed?"

"Yes Oswald, I'm right here" He said as he moved to sit on the bed. After a beat of silence, Oswald slowly continued, tears beginning to fill his eyes.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"You deserve better"

Ed's heart shatters into a a million pieces, "Why would you say that?"

"Everyone I love dies. I could never forgive myself if you died because of me. I was too weak to protect my mother from this part of my life. I put her in danger. I can't loose you too, so please. Just forget about me"

Ed quickly scooped his boyfriend in his arms shaking, "You silly bird, I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Oswald, and you can never change that. I'll be fine, don't you worry. I'm not going anywhere"

Tears fell down Oswald's face as he looked down. He didn't believe him. Ed gently lifted his chin.

"It wasn't your fault. Your mother loved you so much, and Gallavan used that as a weapon. You can't always protect people you love, but what mattered is that you tried. I am here for you, always" He planted a kiss on his forehead, and Oswald began to openly sob as he buried his face in his shoulder.

Ed held him loose stroking his back, then began to sing softly, "The fire has gone out, wet snow from above. But nothing will warm me more than my, my mother's love. I light another candle, dry the tears from my face. But nothing can protect me more, than my mother's warm embrace. The path ahead is dark, so dark I cannot see. But I will not fear, cause my mother looks over me"

Oswald shook but slowly began to relax as he heard the song and the warm feelings it brought with it. It still hurt like salt in a wound to hear it, but having Ed sing a song that meant so much to him was comforting. Fond memories from better days fill the sadness in his heart, as he slowly drifted off to sleep in his lover's embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyu - Mother   
> Hiányzol - I miss you


	6. My dearest penguin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff before things go wrong

_He_ _could_ _still picture that night as clear as day. The aching in his ribs and limbs from the attack earlier on in the day, the_ _metallic_ _taste_ _of blood ocassionally resurfacing. His mother couldn't afford the trip to the doctors, so she could only give him some pain killers to dull the pain. She let him sleep in bed with her that night,_ _cuddled_ _up close bundled under thick sheets as she held him close._

 _"I love you so much. You are a brave boy, a handsome_ _young_ _man. Like your father was" Her soft smile seemed to glow through the darkness,_ _lighting_ _up the room around her like it always did. That cheeky, yet loving smile made his heart squeeze. He_ _would_ _give_ _anything_ _to see it again. Oswald sniffed and_ _cuddled_ _closer. Her perfume filled_ _his_ _nose, the_ _familiar_ _scent_ _comforting_ _and_ _warming. "They may_ _not_ _see it_ _yet, but you are_ _like_ _swan. Graceful, beautiful. A_ _pretty_ _bird"_

_He used to hate being compared to birds, but_ _when she_ _called him one it felt good. It reminded him of the crows in the park, the robins_ _hopping_ _through the snow, the starlings_ _on_ _his_ _windowsill_ _. They were beautiful. And soon became his_ _favourite_ _type of animal._

_"My Kicsikèm" She mumbled gently as her soft hand_ _traced_ _his cheek,_ _wiping_ _away the tears_ _rolling_ _down his face. Suddenly, the room_ _began_ _to grow colder_ _and_ _colder as her smile faded into_ _shocked_ _confusion_ _, "O-Oswald?"_

_"Mother?"_

_A figure slowly rose up_ _behind_ _her, and Oswald's heart stopped._ _Tabitha_ _. No. Nonono._

_"Anyu, ne hagyj el engem" He cried_ _as a distance grew between them, Oswald throwing his hand out to catch her's but she was_ _so still_ _,_ _so_ _far_ _. Lighting lit up the entire room, and Oswald let out a choked scream as he saw himself stood over his_ _mother_ _with an_ _insane_ _grin, blood staining his pale face. A cold, maniacal laugh echoed through the_ _room_ _as he raised the bloody knife over her_ _motionless_ _body, ready to strike again._

_"Sajnálom!" Oswald screamed as he watched himself go to_ _stab_ _her_ _._

Oswald woke with a horrified scream as he shot up in bed, hands balled up in the covers as his eyes stung with tears. He breathed hard in horror and panic as he looked around trying to recognise his surroundings, but the familiar setting of Ed's apartment settled his nerves. His heart beat loudly in his ears as he sighed in relief. It was just a dream.

His soulmate immediately began fussing over him, "Oswald, are you okay? You were yelling in your sleep and I couldn't wake you"

"I'm fine...I'm alright" He replied dishonest. He was not alright, far from it. His own brain had twisted yet another fond memory of his mother. It wasn't anything new; ever since she died he'd been having similar dreams. All being a memory of her, and all ending with him killing her. There's probably some weird psychology to do with it that Oswald had no interest in learning.

"Ok...it's just..." Ed started but cut himself off with a frown, as he shifted closer and rubbed Oswald's arm awkwardly in an attempt to comfort him. They sat in silence for a minute before he spoke, "You're aware that you talk in your sleep, but are you aware that you sometimes slip into your mother tongue too?"

"I do?" Oswald blinked confused. He knew he sometimes had dreams that were in Hungarian or dreams that had a few Hungarian phrases, but he wasn't as aware that he sleep talked in the language too. Then again, it shouldn't come as surprise. Sleep talking is sleep talking.

"Yes. Though I've noticed you do it more when you're distressed or upset in a dream, which is normal" A sad smile crossed his face "Anyu. That's Hungarian for mum right?"

Oswald nodded with a sad smile, "It was technically my first language, as mother spoke to me in her native language when I was born. It was confusing. I was already behind a lot of my peers, but it also took me longer to pick up English since Hungarian was the main language I heard as a child until then" He sighed, "The other kids didn't like me sounding so foreign, even more so when I developed an accent. I taught myself how to sound this way to try and stop their bullying, but it's been so long that I can't even remember what my natural accent is"

Ed frowned. He knew kids were cruel, and he had his own fair amount of bullying experience, but the fact that Oswald was forced to change a huge part of his identity just to fit in on the off chance that they would leave him alone upset him. "What did the other words mean?"

"I can't remember. I'm sorry" He lied. He knew what he had said. _Mother, don't leave me. I'm sorry._ Oswald shook his head and changed the subject, "How long did I sleep for? A few hours I assume?"

"Approximately 18 hours and 15 minutes" Ed frowned, "Though that is along time, you need to rest to allowed your injury to heal. Are...you hungry? I can put some dinner on, but it's fine if you're no-"

"Yes, thank you. I am rather hungry"

A smile immediately appeared on Ed's face, conveying a mix of different emotions, though Oswald could tell he was relieved. Not only was his appetite coming back, Oswald was _willing_ to eat. Neither of them could actually remember the last time he had actually ate more than a few bites, so this was definitely a big step.

"Spaghetti bolognese? I need to go shopping really, but I have the stuff for it already" Without waiting for an answer, Ed got up way more enthusiastic than he should and walked into the kitchen area, collecting the ingredients and materials for dinner. Oswald slowly got out of bed and walked over to him.

"Can...I help?"

Ed seemed surprised, but his smile grew wider as he nodded and nudged a pot towards him. "Ok, first fill it halfway with water, put it on the stove with the lid over it, then turn the stove on"

Oswald took the pot and followed Ed's instructions, before leaning on the table to watch him cut up some vegetables. His kitchen was small, but both men were able to fit comfortably to cook dinner together. It almost reminded him of his own apartment, a thought that made his heart squeeze. He used to cook with his mum, but they were usually treats instead of meals. Cookies, cakes, brownies, anything sweet and tasty.

Without even realising he had zoned off, Oswald was snapped becak to reality when Ed called his name, asking him to pour some salt into the pot and put the pasta in. He moved towards the counter to pour some salt into the steamy water, then grabbed a half empty pack of spaghetti, snapped the pasta in half, and dropped them into the water. He followed Ed's instructions, until the pasta was drained and ready to be dished up.

Ed was still cooking the mince meat in a frying pan with the vegetables and sauce, so Oswald took a seat. He wasn't sure how Ed had the patience to deal with him this past week. Being soulmates didn't mean that Ed _had_ to take care of him. He shouldn't have to. If it wasn't for the patience and enthusiasm in the other man, Oswald would probably feel more of a burden. He was lucky to have Ed, he knew that.

Dinner was served up with some grated cheese and orange juice with the bits. Oswald really didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't like the bits. Not after all he had done for him. They talked and laughed and for the first time in a while, the apartment was filled with a comfortable atmosphere. Ed was happy his partner was getting better and making progress, and Oswald, well, Oswald was just happy he still had someone there for him. 

Once they finished eating, they argued about who was going to do the washing up. Ed won, surprisingly.

While he did that, Oswald wandered around the apartment with the blanket pulled over his shoulders again. He had been in Ed's apartment a few times, but he had never actually had the chance to look around properly. It was small, but well kept. There were a few posters of games on the wall, a weird cookoo clock, and a bunch of junk that Ed seemed to be hoarding for some bizarre reason. He limped back towards the bed, when he noticed a green glimmer beside the windowsill. The neon green sign outside glowed obnoxiously bright, though it was not what was sparkling. Oswald's breath caught in his throat when he saw what it was.

His rock. His gift to Ed as a 'love token', all because of a random Penguin comment.

"Ed, the rock. I- you kept it?"

"Of course I did! Why?"

"I just..." Oswald trailed off looking at him, "It's sweet"

Ed smiled and put the last plate on the draining board, before druing his hands on a towel. He held his hand up in a 'hold on' gesture, and walked to his cluttered desk to find something. Oswald watched as he grabbed something from a drawer, then walked over to him. He grinned as he stepped towards Oswald, his hands behind his back as he stopped and took a dramatic bow, one hand tucked behind him while the other holding out a shiny pebble. It was light brown, with swirls of white, black, grey and yellow, glistening in the light and smooth to touch. "For you, my dear"

"Ed" Oswald took the pebble, turning it in his hand. His heart fluttered as a small smile began to form at the corners of his lips. "You really didn't have to"

His soulmate chuckled, then raised both his arms out to the side and began to slowly walk around Oswald, so close that they almost brushed against each other. Then, Ed booped his nose against Oswald's cheek and let out a breathy laugh, before kissing him and moving back in front of him. "I love you, my dearest Penguin" He grinned, showing off his perfect white teeth, before reaching forwards to raise Oswald's arms up.

"You are strange, Ed" Oswald laughed. Pink dusted his cheeks as he smiled, icy blue eyes sparkling with joy. Something Ed hadn't seen in weeks. Oswald was almost back to his usual self.

He wrapped his arms around Oswald's waist, ignoring the fact that he could tell just how much weight he had lost since his mum died, and Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed's body. Ed leant down and kissed him gently, holding him close. Then, he began to sway softly as Oswald nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck, trying to imitate a slow dance as he hummed a tune.

The shorter of the two smiled to himself, his heart fluttering at the intimacy. However, that all came crashing down when Oswald suddenly recognised the tune. The same one was on the radio when his mother placed him ontop of her feet and danced with him in their living room. His body shook as he began to sob, and it took Ed a few seconds to realise what was happening. He looked down at his soulmate and frowned in concern, "Oswald?"

"I-I'm fine" He mumbled through sobs, hot tears falling against his skin, body trembling in his embrace. "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise, it's ok" Ed sighed as he held him close and stroked his hair gently, before leading him back towards the bed. His soulmate cried in his arms for a while, head resting against his shoulder so the tip of his pointy nose pressed against Ed's neck. After a while, his sobs were reduced to quiet sniffs and soft breathing. Ed kissed his head sighing, "Are you alright?"

Oswald nodded as a reply, staring at the Zelda poster on the wall. They sat in silence, Oswald listening to Ed's breathing, before he smiled to himself and looked up at him, "So Ed, how long have you been studying bird mating dances"

The shock on Ed's face as he immediately flushed red made him burst out laughing, as the other tried to explain through embarrassed stammering. "I-I-I-" 

"You knew I took care of birds, did you not think I'd notice what that little performance was?" He laughed then leant up to peck his cheek, "You're so sweet. I love you" 

"I love you too" Ed mumbled with a smile, running his hands through Oswald's raven hair and laughed at the fact it apparently did not like to stay flat against his head right now. The back of his hair stuck up weirdly, making him look more like a cockatiel than a Penguin. 

"What's so funny?"

"You look like a cockatiel"

Oswald snorted as a response, "Oh yeah? I'll take that as a compliment. I actually had one as a pet- his name was Lajos. Such beautiful and social bird, I loved him"

"What happened?"

"I came home from school to find his cage empty. Mother said they needed some fresh air and did not seem to realise he may fly away until he went out the window"

Ed felt bad for laughing, but the smile appearing on Oswald's face assured him that even a tragic event like losing his pet bird could be amusing in some circumstances. 

___

What's the best way to cheer up the kingpin of Gotham? 

Torturing a lackey of his biggest enemy with his soulmate. 

Leonard was surprisingly easy to capture, as his daily routine was repetitive and had hardly any changes each day. He was a boring man, which was his downfall. Ed had studied his routine everyday -before work if he had a late shift, and after work if he had an early shift- so he had a rough idea of where Leonard would be and when. A baseball bat in the back of his head did the trick, disguised by the darkness of the evening. He was tied to a chair and had a bag stuffed over his head, ready for Oswald when he woke up. 

Oswald was somewhat disturbed by the sudden hostage in their home, but once he found out who it was he became excited. Ed, of course, had heard him mumbling his name in his sleep, so he knew his partner would be thrilled with the opportunity. However, despite predicting his response, Ed felt happy that Oswald was finally looking like his old self. The fire in his eyes was beginning to ignite once again, it just needed that final spark. 

Leonard shook and begged to be released, though his pleas were partially muffled by the material of the bag. As the two collected items such as pliers, lighters and knives to torture the man with, they noticed how they both seemed excited about what was about to come. And for Oswald, this was surprising, if not slightly concerning, considering Ed was a mess last time he murdered someone. He had definitely grown since Dougherty and Kringle, like he had finally come loose and embraced that part of himself. It somewhat reminded him of himself as young boy up to his first month working for Fish. 

The sight of blood and his agnonized screams were pleasing as they tore off nails, burnt his flesh and left cuts all over his body. Oswald drew great pleasure by imagining him as Tabitha or Gallavan in the chair instead. Oh, he would love to torture them slowly and painfully until they begged him to take their life, and even then he would continue until he thought they had suffered enough. How he would love to watch the life drain from their eyes as they finally bled out after hours and hours of torture. 

Ed enjoyed participating, but he enjoyed watching Oswald more. The intensity of each injury inflicted on Leoanrd, no matter how small, was mesmerising to watch. His eyes were wide and fiery, a huge grin on his face as he continued with certainty. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

Ed fell back and decided to watch Oswald finish the man, once again finding himself in awe of him. Oswald stabbed Leonard with a final scream, and he fell silent as he slumped over either dead or unconscious. Neither cared which one it was. Then, Oswald turned to Ed panting, a grin spreading across his face as blood stained his skin. His eyes were wide and dilated, full of satisfaction. Ed couldn't help but grin back. _Watch out Gotham, Penguin's back!_

He immediately grabbed Ed, pulling him close, and crashed their lips together eagerly. Surprised at the sudden change in mood, Ed kissed him back as he wrapped his arms around him. After a few seconds, Oswald pulled away breathing hard, before looking over his shoulder, then back at him with a smirk, "Mr Nygma, is that your bed?"

"Why yes it is" 

He giggled and began to walk backwards reconnecting the kiss, his hands moving to the jacket Ed was wearing. 

____

A few days later, Oswald was stuck at home bored, reading one of Ed's biology textbooks as he had hardly any worthy fiction books laying around. Frankenstein was too hard to understand half the time with the old language, and Oswald always found it boring how Victor was _constantly_ whining about how miserable he was in more than half of the paragraphs. The only thing he had ever found interesting was the gay undertones of Clerval and Victor's relationship, which his teacher had constantly tried to deny. There may not be many homophobes in this world, but homosexuality was still weird to some people. They often thought it was a mistake in the bonding process, but the bonds were rarely wrong. 

He groaned as he shoved the book away, leaning back in the chair and looking at the clock on the wall. 8:47 PM. Ed had already called to say he was asked to stay behind for a case, but Oswald was so bored. He spent the first week here in bed because he was too tired and unmotivated to do anything other than sleep, wishing he could disappear and make the pain go away. The past four days were more active, but Oswald was not used to being cooped up in one place for so long. There was nothing to do here, which made it even worse. 

Grabbing the heavy book, Oswald walked back to the desk and placed it down with a loud thud sighing, when something caught his eye. A small machine sat in the open drawer of the desk, grey and box like with a plus button on the left and four circular buttons on the right. A gameboy? He picked it up and searched for the power button as he walked back to the kitchen table. It turned on and began loading up the game left inside, which apparently was Mario. The pixelated graphics moved across the screen as the title screen appeared, along with 8-bit music in the background. Oswald frowned to himself as he pressed random buttons, realising he didn't know how to use it or what to do, until the game began to load up. He began to press random buttons again, eventually managing to select a level.

The game was hard at first since he didn't understand what he was doing or which button did what, but once he managed to figure it out he started to have fun. Time flew by as he completed several levels, but was unable to beat Ed's time on them. When he became stuck on one level where he couldn't make the jump from one platform to the next, Oswald had to restrain himself from throwing the device across the room in rage, becoming increasingly more frustrated. The jump was possible so how in the world was he failing at it?! 

He was so engrossed that he hadn't even heard Ed walk in until he touched his shoulder, making him jump, "I brought dinner" 

"Ed! You scared me" He sighed as he leant over to place the consol on the kitchen counter, and Ed took the containers out of the bag before searching for cutlery. 

"Sorry. I hope you like Chinese" Oswald smiled but did not reply. Instead, he helped him sort everything out and began eating. 

Ed asked about the gameboy and made a few jokes, and Oswald shared his frustrations about the level he was stuck on, which Ed found unfairly amusing. After that they fell into silence for a few minutes before Oswald decided to talk about something he had been thinking about constantly.

"Ed? There's...something I wanted to ask you" 

"Hm? What is it Oswald, are you alright?" Ed looked at him concerned, wiping some sauce from his mouth. 

"Can I live with you?" 

More silence, though this time it was full of confusion. His brows furrowed, "You already live here" 

"No I mean- I just. I haven't been back to my apartment since..." Oswald shook his head frowning, "I can't go back to living there. There are so many memories of her and I wouldn't be able to cope. All my things are still there, and if I don't collect them soon then the landlord will throw it out and rent it out to someone else. I have no where else but here" 

Placing his hand ontop of his, Ed leant forward with a soft smile, "You're welcome,e to move in with me if that's what you really want. I can come with you to collect your things and say goodbye"

"Yes, thank you..." He blinked away tears, "Thank you..."

____

In all honesty, Oswald did not want to be back here. A place he had grown up in, had once called home, once full of warmth and life now cold and lifeless. Family portraits of him and his mother decorated the walls and shelves. Just seeing them made his heart ache. There was no music, no delicious aroma from the kitchen, and no suffocating hugs when he walked through the door. She really was gone. 

Ed placed his hand on Oswald's shoulder frowning, who placed his hand ontop and took a deep breath. He wiped the tears away that were beginning to form in his eyes, before heading towards his room. It was tidied since the last time he had been there, with his bed made neater than Oswald usually did, the covers tucked into the bed frame. The faint smell of cleaner and flowery perfume lingered in the air, triggering off more tears which freely slid down his cheeks. Unable to cope with the smallest reminders of her, Oswald collected the bird gifts from his desk, the clothes from his closet and some money stored away in a metal tin before quickly walking back out. 

Ed looked at him as he reappeared, placing a picture back down where he found it, and walked over as Oswald sniffed. "I need you...to come with me" 

His voice was barely a whisper as his breath shook, and Ed silently nodded as he made his way over. They pushed the door open for Gertrud's room, but Oswald found himself stuck to the spot. The smell was strongest in here. He couldn't do it. This was hopeless, he couldn't do it. 

"Os" His boyfriend whispered moving an arm around him, "It's ok. Collect anything you want and then we can leave" 

Only a few things came to mind: Her necklace, the album she kept ontop of the closet, and the picture of them both sat in the park. Oswald held his breath and searched for the three items, before bolting out the room. He stuffed them and a few other pictures in his bag, before heading towards the door without any goodbyes to his childhood home. His whole body trembled as he held back tears, and kept walking as soon as he left. Down the stairs, out the building.

It hurt too much to be here. He couldn't possibly live here anymore, surrounded by constant reminders that she was gone and was never coming back home. She would never smile at him, hold him close, laugh with him, dance around a room with grace, or play piano. She would never tuck him into bed at night, kiss him, tell him how loved and pretty he is, or sing that lullaby. And he would never taste her cooking that always warmed him, even on the coldest and darkest of days. 

Gallavan had taken the world from Oswald, and he sure as hell was not going to get away with it. He would get revenge, even if it killed him.


	7. Anything for a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald decides he owes Jim a favour, but Ed is not happy about it.

Domesticated Oswald was definitely one of the weirdest things Ed had experienced, especially with what he kept hearing at work. His coworkers would mention Oswald, often trying to guess what he was up to or where he was as Barnes continued the search for him. While people thought he was off torturing people, he was at home, bothering Ed by calling him during work to find the spicy mustard or ask how to unclog a toilet. The very idea of Oswald acting like a normal, stay at home husband was strange, but that was the situation he was in. No one would even believe it was possible. One time Ed almost gave himself away when he heard two officers talking about how Oswald was supposedly raising an army to destroy Gotham, when really he had just got off the phone after a 5 minute long argument about the peanut butter Ed had bought. Because god forbid he buy crunchy instead of smooth. It was absolutely ironic and ridiculous that Ed just had to laugh. 

Barnes had almost caught Oswald, after he managed to obtain a search warrant for Ed's apartment. Ed had barely enough time to call Oswald before a search team broke in and turned the place upside down. Fortunately, Oswald had fled before they got there, and hid until Ed managed to get home. Finding no traces of Oswald anywhere, Barnes was forced to drop 805 Grundy street as a hideout. Though, he did occasionally try to get Ed to slip up and confess, but Ed was smarter than that. He knew how to manipulate people, and how to pretend. He was a good actor, and Barnes eventually stopped. 

However, along with Oswald's new domestic personality, he appeared to be up to something. Ed had come home one night to find Oswald on the phone with someone, only to quickly end the call once he realised Ed was there. It was suspicious, but he trusted Oswald. If only trust and curiosity went hand in hand for Ed. He had tried to find out what his soulmate was up to, but there was nothing to go on, and no suspicious activity after that phone call. It bugged Ed, but what could he do about it? 

**"He doesn't trust you"** His alter personality decided to comment one day, sat on the desk of the Medical room.

"He does trust me. It's probably...he's the king of Gotham. He could be raising that army people have been talking about now he's got better"

**"Ed, if he trusted you he wouldn't have seemed so nervous** **about** **you catching him on the phone. He** **probably** **got bored of you, moved on. Perhaps he found someone better-"**

"Shut up" Ed growled, hands clenched around the paper in his hands. Oswald would never do that. They loved each other, they were meant to be together. 

**"Beaides, he likes me more, Ed. Why don't you let me** **take** **the wheel again for a bit, hm? Remind** **dear** **Ozzie of the man we are"** Despite having his back to him, Ed knew the other was grinning mischievously. And although Ed had come to peace with this other side, he still did not trust him around Oswald, even if their last encounter was far from dangerous. Flickers of Kristen slumped against the door with hand marks around her neck flashed across his mind momentarily. 

"Sray away from him. I won't let you hurt anyone else" 

**"Hurt him? Why would** **I** **do that?** **I** **enjoyed our** **last** **...session. Why do you think you** **get** **him all to yourself?"** He huffed and materialised in front of Ed on the other side of the table, leant forward with a smirk, **"Or are you jealous** **I'm** **the one who got to-"**

"Be quiet!" Ed yelled as slammed the folder down, cheeks and ears burning. A noise from behind caused him to spin around ready to yell at his hallucination, but it was Lee. Crap.

"Ed?" 

He cleared his throat awkwardly, "Lee...Good afternoon. How long were you standing there?"

"Not long" There was a look in her eyes that made Ed think otherwise, but she moved towards the morgue, "There's still been no sign of Kristen"

"Oh?" The other Ed reappeared on the side frowning at her, then gave Ed a look which he ignored. He needed to throw Lee off his scent. "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"She's with Dougherty" 

The doctor turned and gave him an unconvinced look, "with Dougherty? Who she said was abusive and who she never wanted to see again..."

"Yes. She...she left town with him" _Liar._ "She sent me a letter before she did" _Liar. Liar. Liar._

"Can I see the note?" Lee asked slowly, and Ed had to restrain himself from taking the pen out his jacket and clicking it, so he began clenching and unclenching his hand repeatedly instead. _Liar._

"I didn't keep it" 

"Uh huh..." 

They stared at each other in silence, before Ed finally turned towards the door "I'll leave you to it". Without waiting for an answer, he walked out the door and began to click his pen to try and rid his head of the thoughts.

______

Theo Gallavan had been arrested for kidnapping and torturing the mayor, and Ed couldn't decide whether to be happy or annoyed. They still hadn't found Gertrud's body, and kept the case open as a 'missing persons' instead of a homicide as if Ed hadn't told them what really happened. Oswald didn't seem to know what to do with the news either. Should he be glad that Gallavan had shown his true colours, or angry that he wouldn't be able to get his revenge? With all things said and done, Oswald was slightly relieved that he wouldn't have to worry about being found. Even if Tabitha was still out there. 

Gotham quickly moved on until Jim, Barnes, a forensic officer and a cadet officer were attacked by assassins while investigating his apartment. The police department weren't even sure where people got the story from, as it came out within a few hours of the incident. 

All was well, until he saw the news leading up to the trial. The reporters were speculating what the outcome would be and whether Gallavan would really do something like that. Too many people had pointed their fingers at Oswald, including policemen and lawyers. Oswald was lying in bed depressed and grieving half the time the mayor was missing, and Ed was with him the entire time. He broke down in the forensics lab, screaming at his his darker self to just shut up and leave him be. He couldn't believe it. Whenever something happened, Oswald always seemed to be the go-to suspect. 

Barnes, Jim and Bullock rushed in and stared at him as a glass beaker was accidentally smashed, before he fell to his knees shaking. Tears pricked his eyes, and he found himself unable to speak for a few minutes as he trembled. He felt their eyes burning into him, but no one dared to speak. 

"You all think it's so easy to blame Oswald whenever something bad happens" He laughed eventually, as his other side took over, "He was in no state of mind to be kidnapping and torturing the mayor when he was worried sick about his mother. I told you what he did and you have done nothing about it!" 

They seemed taken aback by the sudden change in mood, moreso the deeper and more confident voice. "Well Nygma, there was no evidence to-"

Ed cut Barnes off quickly, "There's no evidence to tie Oswald to his kidnapping either!" He shook his head and had to remind himself to try and not raise alarm bells. He had to keep their suspicion to a minimum if he was to pull off his plan. "Besides, the past few weeks he was unable to even get out of bed. Poor thing, he was devastated" 

"We'll look into it more. Unless the mayor testifies it was him, which isn't likely, we won't be able to do anything" Jim replied patting his shoulder, while the captain and the Irish detective just stood there staring at him like he was some sort of alien, "And if it comes to it, he won't be arrested unless we find solid proof connecting him to the crime" 

Before Barnes could protest, Jim chased the two out of the door. Ed got up and began to tidy the mess he made, before walking over to the mirror to look at his frustrated and anxious reflection. 

_"Why would you do_ _that_ _? They're going to get suspicious, and Barnes might search our home again!"_

"Relax Ed, I know what I'm doing. Jim seems to belive us" 

_"But Barnes knows we're_ _connected_ _to Oswald! We_ _just_ _managed to convince him that we don't_ _know_ _where he is"_ His normal self adjusted his glasses and bit his lip, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Honestly, you worry too much" He sighed and shut his eyes, "fine, I'll go away. Don't mess it up"

Ed slowly felt himself slip back into control as he sighed, then walked back out of the lab where Jim was waiting in the corridor. "Ed, be honest with me. Did Penguin have anything to do with the mayor's disappearance?"

Ed scoffed in annoyance, "How many times do I have to say he's innocent before you'll believe me? Do you really think he had something to do with it when there was nothing for him to gain? He still thinks you're his friend Jim. Don't ruin that"

Later that day, Aubrey James lied in court, and did blame Oswald for his kidnapping and torture, allowing Gallavan to walk free due to the lack of any evidence. Ed had managed to hold it together this time. Instead of anger, he suddenly felt a strong unease fall over him. His worry for his boyfriend held back any anger or frustrations, and instead he decided to get hime as soon as possible. It was then that he learnt what Oswald had been conspiring about, when he came home to an empty apartment and a note reading "Gone out. Be home soon - Oswald".

A few hours later, he walked in with Gabe who was carrying an unconscious Jim Gordon. He was almost surprised at the fact that Oswald was actually wearing one of his suits instead of Ed's old clothes that were way too big for him. Gabe left as soon as he placed Jim on their bed, and Ed sighed. He really wanted to sleep, but that won't be happening soon.

"Sorry if I worried you. I heard Gallavan had been released and rushed to the last place he had been seen, but he was gone. Jim was there though. He could be useful"

"He's an outlaw" Ed replied blandly, not really in the mood for this. His home was already harbouring two criminals, now Jim made a third one. Barnes would have a field day if he were to burst through the door right now.

"And I'm the kingpin of the underworld. You killed two people" Oswald raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms, "Jim could know where he'll be, Ed. I can't wait any longer, Gallavan must die!"

"I understand, it's just..." Glancing back at the man on their bed, Ed sighed. He wasn't too fond of Jim as of recent. Sure, he had often been nice to him, but recently Jim hadn't been the same. And with Essen dead, the GCPD became even more of an unwelcome environment. The interction from earlier still left a bitter taste in his mouth. Oswald trusted a man who didn't trust him back.

"I get it...but he's my only hope. Jim is my friend, and I know he hates Gallavan nearly as much as I do. Besides, he owes me for all the things I've done for him" Oswald gave him a smile, before sitting on the piano bench.

Ed decided against telling Oswald that Jim didn't entirely believe he was innocent, and that their friendship was heavily one sided. He sat beside Oswald and sighed, wrapping an arm around him.

______

None of the men had returned that night, and Ed was stuck at home in the deafening silence, the clock on his wall sounding louder than usual. He was trying not to panic but it had been hours since they left and the news had already managed to cover the story. Bruce was rescused and was safe, but Gallavan was missing along with Jim and Oswald. Did he take them hostage instead? Where were they? 

Ed began pacing like usual, trying to go over every single possible outcome of the night's events and possibilities of Oswald being in danger. Stress building up, he almost didn't hear the knock at his door over the nose in his head. He raced to the door and pulled it open, relieved to see Oswald on the other side. 

"I can't stay long, the police are searching for me and they'll know I'm here. Gallavan is dead, my dear mother can rest in peace now"

"You got to kill him?"

"No, nono. I got to beat him half to death, but Jim pulled the trigger. He basically begged Jim to kill him" He grinned in satisfaction, "Ed, listen carefully. If I'm captured, I will say I killed Gallavan. I owe it to Jim, especially for allowing me to get a hit in" 

"That's not fair. Why would you let him walk free and take the blame?"

"He's my friend, it's the least I can do"

Ed frowned in protest. It was selfish of him to decide on that without asking him first. "What about me?"

A faint glimmer of sadness appeared in Oswalds eyes as he took a step closer to his partner, "I'll insist I did it because I'm insane or something like that. They'll imprison me in Arkham, and from there they'll realise I'm not actually crazy and have to let me go. Simple really. Besides what's the worst that could happen there? Be bored to death by therapy?"

Memories of the Arkham electroshock therapy attacks flashed through his brain, but he did not voice his concerns.

"You'll be ok, I promise. I'll be back before you know it. I love you Ed" 

"I love you too Oswald" He mumbled, but grabbed his arm as he turned to leave, "Wait. You'll be too recognisable in those clothes. Take some of mine and I'll keep the suit here for when this is over"

The two walked into the apartment where Ed dug up some spare clothes for Oswald to change into, and threw a few hangers on the bed for them. He changed quickly and slid the clothes onto to the hanger, before turning to Ed and pulling into a tight, longing embrace. Truly, he did not want to go. He had lost everything he cared about except for his soulmate, and he wasn't ready to say goodbye so soon. 

  
"I love you so much" He whispered, voice almost cracking. If only they could hold each other like this until the end of time. If only things were different. But it wasn't, and he couldn't risk Ed being arrested too. "Goodbye my love"

As Oswald left their home, Ed sat down on his bed and held the clothes to himself, ignoring the tears pricking in his eyes.

They captured Oswald only a few days after their last encounter. He promised him that he would sort out Gertrud's grave and bring white lillies for her, before Oswald was quickly shipped to Arkham. The rest of the day Ed locked himself in the forensics lab and tried to preoccupy his brain with science instead of the dread filling his heart.

He was becoming more and more frustrated each day Oswald was locked up. He wasn't allowed to see him in Arkham as it was 'bad for his rehabilitation', even though Ed had a perfect record. Seeing his 'insane' boyfriend would probably do his 'recovery' some good. There was absolutely no reason why he shouldn't be allowed to visit. Then when the letters had stopped not even a week into his admittance, Ed grew increasingly suspicious about what was really going on. Arkham was always more dodgy than most people suspected, and alarm bells were blaring.

He had managed to get through the gates, but Doctor Strange confronted and told him that Oswald wasn't allowed visitors at all. When asked why, he responded that Oswald had been hysterical and violent, so he was put in solidary confinement as he was considered a danger to himself and others. Although this did sound slightly plausible, Ed felt in his gut that Strange was lying. Something was wrong.

His frustration grew, and eventually manifested itself into hatred and anger. He resented Jim for allowing Oswald to take the fall for him. It wasn't fair that Jim got to keep his job and girlfriend, while Ed was stuck worrying and driving himself insane. Who knew what horrors Oswald was being put through? How was it fair after all Oswald had been through and lost to tear them apart?

Ed pretended to be nice to him still, but he suspected that the detective had picked up on the change in attitude. Though Jim did not bother to confront him about Oswald, nor did he offer a _real_ apology. And that pissed Ed off more. It was Jim's fault. If Oswald didn't come out of Arkham okay, then Ed would personally have to make him suffer. That's when he came up with the plan to both frame and expose Jim as the murderer he was.

As promised, Ed sorted out Gertrud Kapelput's funeral as best as he could. The body was found by the docks almost a week after Oswald's arrest, discoloured and decomposing. She was cremated, as that was all he could afford, but he made sure to pick out a nice spot for a gravestone and buy some white lillies to decorate the area with. He blinked back tears as he stood at the grave, finally knowing that she was put to rest for good.

"Hi Gertrud...It's Edward" He mumbled as he crouched down to place the flowers on the soil, "I know we hardly met, but in the brief time we did you were more like a mother to me than my own ever was. You didn't deserve what happened. We both wish we could be done something to stop it. Oswald loves you, but he still blames himself for endangering you. But I promise you, I will protect and love him until I die"

A robin flew over and perched on the gravestone in front of him chirping. He smiled at it wiping away tears, "watch over him in Arkham will you?" It chirped again as if it was replying, then flew off into the trees.

Every so often Ed would revisit the grave to make sure it wasn't vandalised, and to place fresh lillies down when he could. Each time he came, he began to feel more and more helpless and weighed down. He couldn't do anything for Oswald, which made him feel like he failed as a boyfriend and a soulmate. No letters, no visitors, no contact. What could he do besides waiting and hoping for the best?

On one particular day, as he headed down the path of the graveyard towards the exit, he bumped into a man holding a similar bouquet of lillies, only more bulky and nicer, tied in a purple ribbon. "Oh I do apologise" The man offered a kind smile, and Ed had to tear his eyes away from the flowers. It was just a coincidence that this man was holding an expensive bouquet of Gertrud and Oswald's favourite flower, and tied in Oswald's favourite colour.

He froze when he saw the man's face. Raven hair stuck out from under a hat, soft looking but slicked back neatly, strands of grey shining in the sun. His face was pale and made him look old, a few light freckles dotted across his cheeks and sides of his nose. Kind, dark brown with specks of a familiar green hue around the iris made his heart stop. Uncanny how much he resembled Oswald. How was that possible?

Ed nodded his head politely with a smile, then carried on towards the exit. When he reached a tree, he ducked behind it looking over, only to find the man stood at Gertrud's grave with a sad smile.

_Fascinating..._

_____

  
Since Oswald's imprisonment, Ed had been feeling less certain about time. His blackouts were becoming more frequent and he sometimes dissociated for hours on end. Of course he knew exactly who was to blame for it, but he didn't know what the reason was. Sometimes he didn't know where he ended and other Ed began. Sometimes he was aware of what was going on but didn't feel entirely in control. Now he was pulling off a great show, running circles around the GCPD and Gordon.

 **"I told you, trust me and we can do great things. They don't know it was you.** **I'm** **too smart,** **they're** **no** **match** **for me!"** Other Ed laughed, **"With your brains about forensics and my -well, everything- we can do great things. Gotham will know** **how magnificent we truely are"**

Ed frowned at his reflection in the shing metal, "I'm not worried. I know they're too incompetent to figure out who it was. I'm just surprised they figured my clues out so fast, they hardly ever answer them!"

**"Because, Ed, they just wanted to ignore you. They knew the answer to your riddles but they had no time to deal with freakshow Ed"**

"Hey that's-"

A knock on the door knocked him out of his thoughts, and Ed reluctantly answered the door. He was not expecting to come face to face with a tar-soaked, feathered Oswald grinning up at him. "Eddie!"

"Oswald! Oh my God, how are you..." He pulled him into a tight embrace grinning, happy to see him again. It had been far too long, and Ed never wanted to let go of him again. Though Ed did not like the fact that he could almost feel Oswald's bones under his clothes.

Oswald pulled away to pull a sheet of paper out of his jacket, the widest and happiest grin on his face. It looked too innocent. Ed's stomach clenched as he realised that this was not his Oswald that came out of Arkham. _What have they_ _done_ _to you?_

The paper was a folded up certificate signed by Hugo Strange, declaring Oswald as sane. "I'm sane! Isn't that great? I'm a new man, Eddie. A better man"

Ed could not answer. All joy had been sucked out of him when he was hit with the realisation, and all he could do was stare in disbelief as Oswald tried to show off his new diagnosis proudly. His soulmate's smile faded slightly as he noticed Ed's sudden coldness.

"Can I come in? These feathers aren't as warm as they seem"

"Yes...yes of course" He moved to allow him inside, shutting the door behind him, "So what...happened?"

"Oh! Good old Taitha and Butch. They were considering killing me so this was pretty nice of them"

"Pretty nice of them? They really did a number on you in Arkham huh..."

Oswald chuckled and took his beanie off, looking around ther home with a smile on his face.

 **"Yikes. The new him is really freaking me out"** Other Ed commented within his mind as he watched his partner. He wanted Oswald home so bad, but now he was he wished he was still in Arkham. It felt selfish. But Ed couldn't handle the fact that his beloved penguin was not the man he was. He felt responsible. Kf he had just tried harder to fimd out what was happening...   
He could handle domestic Oswald, but not freakishly sweet and innocent Oswald which just gave him the creeps.

The smaller of the two walked over and pulled him into another hug, this time falling silent as he sighed. "I missed you, Eddie. They wouldn't let me see you, but now we can have a life together! A good one! A normal one. Free of crime and violence"

"Oswald" Ed murmured pulling away from him slightly. Part of him was beginning to panic, because this wasn't _his_ Oswald. He wasn't sure what this imitation was, but it wasn't his boyfriend. Those bluey-green eyes stared up at him in concern, and Ed had to step away before he broke down. Before he could say anything else, he noticed a faded bruise on his throat. Not the dark, hand prints like he had left on Kristen, but with some sort of restraint or belt.

"Oswald" He repeated stepping forwards in alarm, thumb moving to touch the bruised skin which wrapped around his neck like a collar. He didn't hear Oswald call his name as he tugged the sleeves up to find two more bruises wrapped around his wrist, only these were darker and had marked the skin deeply, as if Oswald had struggled and tugged on them. Is this...was he...tortured?

He felt sick.

"I have to do something, but there's food in the cupboards or fridge. You can change into your own clothes if you want...or into mine if you prefer. I'll be back home soon" Ed rushed to gather his coat, and the bag with the crowbar as tears burned in his eyes.

"Ok" Oswald smiled as he took a seat at the table.

Ed turned, swallowing down the sick feeling, and left his house.


	8. Family

Ed hesistated to go home later that night. After planting the evidence and watching Jim get arrested, he drove around the area listening to the radio. He felt guilty. He knew something wasn't right at Arkham, but he didn't try hard enough to stop it from happening. Torturing someone into submission is barbaric, but because it was done to an 'insane' criminal, that makes it ok? Would anyone care if they knew what Oswald had been put through, or would they just look the other way because he somehow deserved it in their eyes? The nausea never went away, and as the time ticked on he became more aware that he had to go back home at some point.

He took a deep breath before opening the door to his -no, their- apartment. The first thing he saw was his boyfriend sat at the dining table, happily munching on a sandwich. Wearing Ed's clothes.

"Oswald, I'm back"

"Eddie! You're home, I'm so glad! You were gone for quite a while and I was getting-" he paused seeing flecks of blood on Ed's coat sleeve, his smile becoming a frown, "Ed, as your soulmate I have to tell you, violence and anger are not the answer. I am a changed man. Better. And you can change, too"

"Tempting offer.The thing is, the me I am right now is kind of hitting my stride. Oh. And I'm really grateful for all that you've taught me, and that bad stuff you told me about Jim Gordon has really payed off"

"It has?"

"It has. It helped me to create the perfect puzzle to get rid of my Jim Gordon dilemma. And it worked!" Ed grinned and pulled him into a hug, "No more Jim Gordon to ruin our lives"

He could tell that Oswald had no idea what that actually meant when he smiled happily, and pulled Ed into a hug, "I am glad I helped you". Ed slowly hugged him back uncertainly, still trying to get used to the new him. They stood in silence for a while just holding each other, then Oswald broke the silence. "Has that pineapple always been there?"

Ed frowned in confusion and looked over his shoulder, noticing the pineapple on a pair of old scales. Truthfully, he did not remember buying it, and had no idea where it came from, how long it was there, or why. Noticing the look on his face, Oswald burst into laughter.

"Oh, Eddie. You're adorable"

______

_H_ _er soft hand traced Oswald's face as he sat beside her in his nightclub, a harmonic song playing through the building as the last few guests lingered inside. Her blue eyes sparkled with pride as she smiled at him, and his heart filled with the familar warmth of love._

_"My baby boy, you make your mother so proud. Fate is on your side" She moved her hands to take his, and pressed a kiss against his knuckles. Her lipstick smudged on his pale skin, but Oswald only stared at her and smiled wide._

  
_"Yes, mother. Soon we will find somewhere nice, and I can take care of you. We'll have a better life"_

_He noticed for a breif moment the look on her face that said 'I can take care of myself', but it vanished behind another smile "I do not doubt this"_

_Suddenly, the purple lights seemed to fade, and the music twisted into a sharp screeching sound like a wounded animal. Gertrude froze, unmovimg and unblinking as Oswald began to panic. Then, the lights cut out and everything was plunged into darkness for a beat, before they cut back on._

_This time, Oswald was sat at the long dining table, tied to the chair at the head, in front of the fireplace. His mother sat a few chairs down frowning at him, bowls and plates of food spread out between them. His heart rate increased as he distantly recognised the scene, but found he was helpless against his bindings. "Mother"_

_"Why aren't you eating? Are you sick?" She tilted her head to the side, furrowing her eye brows in confusion. "My poor baby"_

_"Ma-" Oswalds voice cut off, and no matter how much he screamed nothing came out. Not a breath, not a ghost of a scream. Nothing._

_A figure loomed in the doorway as he struggled and silently screamed, tears streaming down his face as he watched himself move further into the room. He begged silently, hoping that by some miracle he wouldn't have to see her die again like he had during the time in Arkham. Hoping that the nightmares that began after her death would stop. But they never did._

_The other Oswald stopped behind her, knife in hand, and looked him right in the eye as he went to stab her through the back._

_But everything went black again._

_The next time the lights cut back on was longer than the last time, but now Gertrude and Ed were standing in front of him with their backs facing him. Their surroundings were just emptiness, nothing but black. A void._ _But, despite the inky darkness, he could faintly hear the sounds of waves and seagulls, and could faintly smell the sea._

_He could tell it was his mother from her frilled, old fashioned dress, and her curly blonde hair. But something was off about Ed. He wore a bright green jacket that appeared to be covered in...glitter, and a dark bowler hat. His posture was different too. Upright, more confident than his Ed, and although he would occasionally see his soulmate stood in a similar fasion, it did not feel like him at all._

_Suspicions are confirmed when the other Ed turned to face him slowly, glasses missing from his face and his fringe messily stuck out from under the hat. He grinned wide, "hello Oswald"_

_"Ed...stop that" He replied, an unexplained uneasiness pulsing through him._

_"Stop what my dear?" Not Ed asked. He didn't seem to blink. He just stared. Something shiny was held in his gloved hands but Oswald couldn't see what it was. "_ _Some try to hide, some try to cheat, but time will show we always will meet. What am I?"_

_"What? I-"_

_Before he could finish, Not Ed moved his arm upwards towards Gertude and shot her through the head. "Wrong!"_

_Her body collapsed and layed on the ground unmoving as Not Ed laughed down at her, then turned to Oswald still laughing, gun drawn on him._ _"_ _I can sneak up on you or be right in front of you without you even knowing. But when I reveal myself, you will never be the same. What am I?"_

_A loud sound filled the void before he can even open his mouth to answer._

-

"Oswald!" 

He jolted awake panicked, grabbing the close thing to him which happened to be Ed, who was nearly on top of him gripping his shoulders. His face felt wet with tears as he stared up at the man he loved, scared and conflicted. But those brown eyes were soft, unlike the cold eyes of his evil counterpart. He was safe. 

"Are you ok? You were crying and talking in your sleep, and I couldn't wake you up!" 

"I'm...I'm fine" He used his elbows to move himelf back on the bed so he was sitting upright, and wiped his face as he took a deep breath to settle his racing heart. Ed stared at him in concern, taking his hands to try and help comfort him and hesistated before asking what had happened. 

"Just a bad nightmare about my mother dying...and...and you were there. You were glittery and evil, and you killed mother before you went to kill me. It was awful" He pulls him into a hug as the smaller of the two trembled. Oswald resting his chin on Ed's shoulder with his arms wrapped around him, but he began to rub his wrist as a false habit. He was too used to being restrained during these types of nightmares.

The riddle kept pressing itself into the front of his mind, so Oswald just had to ask. "I can sneak up on you or be right in front of you without you even knowing. But when I reveal myself, you will never be the same. What am I?"

"Hmm...betrayal..." Ed frowned, "Where did that come from?"

"That's what you said to me before you were about to kill me..."

In all honestly, both of them knew Oswald probably would've become paranoid about what this could mean. Neither one could tell who this was directed towards. Did Oswald betray Ed, or was Ed going to betray him? However, Oswald did not become suspicious anout his dream. Sure, Not Ed had some similarities in the changes of attitude that sometimes showed up in Ed, but it was only a bad dream. Never in million years would he ever hurt him.

Noticing that Ed had gone silent, Oswald moved back to look at him. He noticed the concern on his face, and how he was glancing off to the side ever so slightly as if looking at something. "Ed?"

"Hm?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yes...yes of course, I" he paused and looked at him, "What was this evil me like?"

"Um...he spoke in a deeper voice, acted more charismatic and was just more confident looking"

That only seemed to concern him more, but he didn't say anything else related to it. "It was just a dream. Go back to sleep"

_____

The next morning, the couple drove to Gotham Cemetery to visit Gertrud's grave. Ed, admittedly, hadn't been there in at least a week, which was something he felt bad about. Oswald stopped at a boutique store to buy some white lillies before they got there, and the two hardly said a word as they headed down the path towards her grave. Clutching the flowers to his chest, Oswald stood in front of the grave smilimg softly.

Ed stood by a few steps back, allowing him to finally have a more peaceful moment with his deceased mother. He watched as he placed the lillies down, sniffling as he stared down at her gravestone. "Hello, Mother...What a lovely spot this is. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here for the funeral. But I think you would be proud of me. I'm a changed man. Or... at least, I'm trying to be. To be honest, I don't know if I'm gonna make it without you..."

His voice cracked on the last line as he used his sleeve to wipe away some tears, not noticing as the man Ed had seen a week ago coming down the path. Ed turned and stared at him as the man looked directly at Oswald, and cautiously moved towards him. "Hello? I'm terribly sorry. I-I don't mean to interrupt"

"Not at all" Oswald smiled at him, and laughed softly as he saw the flowers in his hands "Lillies"

"Her favorite, if memory serves"

Frowning, Ed watched the exchange, becomimg suspicious of the man. How would he know Gertrude, and how would he be close enough to be visiting her grave more than once? He can't stop thinking about how they look very similar, but thats not logical. Oswald told him that his father died.

"Yes, they were...did you know her?"

"A long time ago. I found her again only in death, I'm afraid" The man moved closer and offered a hand,"Elijah Van Dahl"

"Oswald Cobblepot. This is Ed" He responded with a smile as he shook the man's hand, before gesturing over to Ed, but then Elijah looked at the grave and did a double take.

"'Cobblepot'? You're related to Gertrud?"

"My mother"

"Mother? You're Gertrud's son?" Shock filled his tone, and Ed instinctively moved closer to his boyfriend incase something went wrong.

"Yes. Uh, I'm sorry. Uh, how did you know my mother exactly...?"

"How old are you?"

"Excuse me?-" He took Oswald's hand for support as he began to sound a bit thrown off, staring down Elijah, who just repeated himself eyes wide.

"...31"

"31 years ago, yes. That's right. Oh, my God, she... she never told me!"

"Told you what?"

"That I had a son!"

Oswald stared at him in surprose, mouth open as he tried to say something but nothing came out. His father? This was his father? His mind goes back to the soulmate mark on his mothers arm, and he suddenly recognised the name. _Elijah Van Dahl_ _!_ Maybe the universe didn't hate him after all! Maybe good things do happen to those who reform. Too many questions clouded his mind, but before he can get a single word out Ed stepped forward.

"Oswald's father is dead. How can we trust you?"

"Yes, I understand the concern you have for him, but I assure you, I did not know this fact until this moment. I don't blame Gertrude for saying I was dead. That's better than saying his father was a coward" He shook his head and wiped his left eye, before moving his hand to his sleeve and pulling it up, "I do believe a soulmate mark never lies though"

Sure enough, Gertrud Kapelput was marked on his arm in cursive writing. He was telling the truth. Oswald walked forwards and stared at the writing, before up at his father with a smile, "your name was on her arm too. I-I can't believe it!"

The two grinned at each other, and as Elijah opened his arms for a hug Oswald flew into them and hugged back smiling. Ed smiled slightly at the sight, glad he was happy.

"My son, I do believe we have a lot of catching up to do. Would you two perhaps consider coming back to my house for dinner?"

Oswald looked back at Ed with wide, hopeful eyes, and he sighed knowing he couldn't say no, despite how he wanted to go home. That would be cruel. "We'd love to"


	9. The Van Dahl's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update!

The ride back to the mansion was short, but to Ed it felt like hours. Oswald and Elijah talked the entire time about hobbies and so on, and Ed quickly shut it out as he stared out the window. He felt selfish for reacting in such a way, but since Oswald was sent to Arkham -since Oswald came back- he wasn't really in the mood for such detours. Not only did he have a job to do, his mental health had severely declined over the past few weeks, and was not getting any better the more time he spent around this imposter of his soulmate. He still felt responsible for it, but he was also so angry at Oswald for putting himself in this situation in the first place. Oswald was the one who was selfish. He should've given Jim up, and thought about Ed over a police officer who doesn't give a shit about what happens to him. Now they were both suffering, and for what? A corrupt police officer who wanted to act like he was Mr. Perfect? 

The car pulled up, and all three climbed out. The mansion was old and large, with flowers and hedges decorated around it, and vines snaking their way up the bricks. A few trees stood lonely around the green, a large field stretched out around the building, only fading into the tree line of the woods. It was gorgeous, and yet Ed's own negativity prevented him from admitting it. Oswald gently took his hand, gazing at the exterior in disbelief and awe. The expression made Ed soften ever so slightly. He still loved his soulmate. Still loved Oswald more than anything. He should be happy for him. 

They headed up the stone staircase towards the doors, and Elijah let them in with a wide smile on his face. "Welcome home, my son" He said warmly as they walked in, and Oswald gasped as he looked at the fancy décor of the mansion. The Falcone manor he had taken residence in was beautiful, but not like this. 

"It's beautiful" He whispered.

"Yes. We kept it as it was when I was a boy. Do you like it?"

Oswald nodded in response with a grin, then turned to Ed expecting a similar response to it. Instead, he saw a blank and bored expression. Before he could say anything, Elijah took a step forward, "Perhaps a warm bath and fresh clothes are in order, it is dreadfully cold out there"

"That sounds lovely, thank you" Oswald smiled.

"I'll be fine, thank you" Ed responded, with he same boredness, and his boyfriend shot him a concerned look, unsure why he was acting in such a way. Oswald had noticed how distant Ed had been since he had came back from Arkham, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was is fault. Hugo Strange said things would be better once he was reformed, and yes it had been, but his relationship had now become strained. 

"I'll get the maid to prepare it for you" His father smiled before walking off to find her. Once out of earshot, Oswald sighed and looked at Ed.

"What's wrong, Eddie? Was this a bad idea?" 

"No...no you found your long lost father who you thought was dead. I'm happy for you"

"Then why do you look so upset? Is it me?" 

Ed frowned and sighed gently. Although he was angry at Oswald for what he did, he wasn't going to fight with him. Not now. He turned to him and leant down to kiss him, "It's not you. Don't worry, I'm alright. Let's just enjoy the time with your father, ok?

After Oswald had a bath and changed, the three of them sat down to talk. Elijah dished up some soup and a fresh bread roll as they spoke about more personal matters. 

"How did you two meet?"

"Well..." He glanced over at Oswald, but his boyfriend just stared back with a smile as if he was waiting for him to tell the story. It was strange. This was probably the closest thing to what younger Ed imagined Oswald would be like. But now that was a reality, he wished he was still a criminal. "I was at work one day and Oswald came in to talk to a...friend. I saw him and immediately introduced myself, and we connected from there" 

"How did you know it was him? Did you feel it? When I met Gertrud for the first time, I knew it was her before she even said anything" 

"He showed up at work before and announced himself to the entire building but I never got to speak with him that day. Several people thought he was dead so imagine their shock when he walked through those doors" He heard a small laugh from beside him. 

Elijah smiled and looked between them. Undoubtedly, Oswald's father had nothing but fondness for them. Ed could see the sad glint underneath, the look of a man who had missed out on 31 years of his own child's life. He truly loved them, despite it only being an hour since they met. It was sweet, yet still strange for Ed to process. He grew up in a family that didn't love him, and one that made no attempt to even hide their disdain towards him. Because having a smart and mentally ill child was somehow a disgrace. 

"Gertrud came to work as a cook for my parents. She was so young and beautiful. So full of life. So beautiful. I was young then, too. A boy, really. A foolish, romantic boy. When my parents found out, they forbade us from being together. I was the heir to a great fortune, they said. And she was just a cook. I threatened to run away with her. Turn my back on my family name and my inheritance. It was the first and only time I ever stood up to them. They must've known my words were just that. A spoiled child making idle threats. The next day, Gertrud was gone. My parents told me only that they had come to an arrangement. She would be taken care of. And I must never make an attempt to find her. And to my shame, I didn't. I let them separate us. I had no idea. She never told me she was pregnant. She didn't tell me about you. If she did..."

"She told me that my father had died when I was still a baby" Oswald replied with a frown.

"Easier than the truth, I suppose. That your father was a coward who wouldn't stand up to his parents. She must've figured that the two of you would be better off making your own way. Which, in fact, was probably the truth. Look at you. A strong young man. She did a good job, didn't she?"

"She tried" Oswald offered a sad smile. His mother did everything she could, but was unable to give him the life she wished for him. Elijah stood up and walked around the table, and Oswald got up to meet him.

"We both miss her terribly. My poor boy. You've been all alone in the world" He frowned and gently pulled him into a hug, which his son returned. 

"Yes...yes I have" 

"No longer. You have a home. And a father. And a family" 

"A family?" 

"A big, happy family. They're going to be so thrilled to meet you!"

"S-Sir, please? Tell me truthfully. Is this a dream?"

"It's not a dream, my boy" 

Oswald burst into happy sobs, holding his father close. Ed smiled sadly watching them, happy for his soulmate. Then, Elijah caught his eye and extended his arm out as an invitation. He considered, before getting up to join the embrace. The three held each other, a warm mood falling between them. Ed was briefly reminded of the day Oswald invited him over for dinner at his home. It was strange how within an hour, it was like they had known each other forever. 

The moment abruptly ended when they heard a woman's voice in the hallway. "Come along" 

A woman walked through the door and stopped when she saw them. "Elijah, you didn't tell me we had guests!"

She reminded him of his mother, all smiles and warmth around guests but cold behind closed doors. He could see through her smile. Especially the look in her eyes she looked at them as if they were dirt. Two lower class men in a house as nice as this? Typical rich people. 

"Grace, this is my son, Oswald. And his boyfriend, Edward"

Grace's expression faltered for a millisecond, but Ed caught it. She was not going to take this news well. 

"Son? Elijah, I thought-"

"I thought so too, my dear. But, as it turns out, my soulmate had a son. My son, Oswald. She never told me, nor did my mother as I suspect she knew about him too. I do hope you all can accept him into our family" Elijah smiled at her softly, walking over to take her hands. Ed noticed how her face twitched at the mention of a soulmate. It was like she was insecure about marrying a man who was not bonded to her. Who could blame her. She forced a smile and looked over at the pair. 

"You two are...together?" She asked in that overly sweet voice, glancing between them. _Oh, she's one of those._

"Of course. We're soulmates" Ed replied nonchalantly, staring right into her eyes even though it usually made him uncomfortable, and taking Oswald's hand. Homophobes took up a small percentage of society, as soulmate bonds were so rare to be incorrect. If a man was bonded to a man or vice versa, then it was fate. But these people still had the idea that it was wrong or disgusting. 

"Oh. Lovely" Neither Oswald or Elijah seemed to pick up on the sarcasm. 

Her children lingered in the doorway with uncertainty, and Elijah moved to them. "Oswald, Ed, this is Charles and Sasha"

"Nice to meet you" The two greeted with a smile. Sasha was like her mother. Able to put on a facade, but not able to entirely fool Ed. Charles, however, seemed more genuine. He even walked over to them with a grin and shook their hands, earning a happy chuckle from Oswald. 

The family sat down and talked among each other, Grace's children asking most of the questions as she just stared at them with a fake smile. Ed just sat beside Oswald quietly, holding his hand, watching the in-laws. His inner voice started talking to him again, but he didn't respond. He just sat quietly, slowly spacing out until Elijah tapped a spoon against a glass to catch their attention. Oswald handed him a glass of champagne with a smile, as Ed blinked a few times to knock himself back into reality.

"A toast. I want to thank you all for your generosity. You have welcomed Oswald into our family with open arms and open hearts. And for that, I am truly blessed" Elijah smiled at his son, and Oswald smiled back, "To family"

"Uh, you guys have made me the happiest man on the planet. I am so grateful. I love you all. Family!" 

"To family"

Sasha smiled and kissed Oswald's cheek, then Charles offered his hand to Oswald's to shake it. "Brothers!"

"Oh yes! Brothers!"

They ignored Ed, but he was used to that by now. He felt numb as he watched them, unsure how he felt anymore. Anger, betrayal...loneliness. It felt like he was loosing him all over again, this time to the wolves. Grace didn't like them being here, she didn't like the fact that her husband had a son. He was fairly certain that nothing bad would happen, but his inner self argued otherwise. Pushing the thoughts away, Ed put an arm around Oswald, who, in return, placed his head on his shoulder. 

Soon, the maid came in to announce dinner was ready, and they all headed to the dining room where they continued the conversation. Ed zoned out once again as they talked, eating his food with boredom. Maybe it wasn't so much that they appeared to be ignoring Ed in favour of Oswald, despite the fact that he hated being ignored. No, he was jealous. He could feel it burning inside him as he watched Elijah look at his son with such adoration. He never had that. Why did he never have that? Why did his dad hate him so much? 

It was only when Oswald put his hand on Ed's that he was brought back to the conversation. 

"It's true. I swear it. Clear as day... a ghost. She was this pale old woman in a long black dress. She was this close" Charles recounted, partially leant across the table with a wide grin as he gestured between them. 

"What did you do?"

"Oh, I ran away screaming, of course!" 

They laughed, but Ed didn't see why. Ghosts didn't exist. The story was highly illogical, just as the belief in ghosts was. 

"Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Oswald?" Grace smiled at him. Another face. One to hide her envy.

"Yes, I do. I've seen them"

Ed made a sound, almost like a snort, but didn't voice his opinion. As expected, no one even noticed. Or if they did, they ignored him. 

"This house has several of them. But don't worry, they're all quite friendly" Elijah said with a smile. 

"Don't listen to him. There are no ghosts here"

"Oh, there's ghosts, all right. This house was built by my grandfather. He died here. His wife and two sisters also passed away upstairs. And my poor dear parents" There was a distant look on his face for a few seconds, before he mumbled, "Yes, many ghosts"

Silence fell through the room for several seconds, the air growing heavy with some sort of tension before Oswald broke it with a question. 

"How did you meet?"

"Oh. That's a boring story, really"

"No, let me tell it, dear. After my mother died, I sat alone in this house for months. Barely got out of bed, in fact. Finally, I found a diner, not too far from here. I'd go there every day at the same time, order the same thing"

"Chicken soup and a seltzer"

"Grace was my waitress, and I grew very fond of her. She told me of her two poor children, Sasha and Charles, and how they suffered at the hands of their abusive father. I had to help. I offered her refuge, and she accepted. And this house heard laughter once again. Then one thing led to another. Love blossomed. And here we are" 

The smile faded from their faces as Elijah spoke about their past, and they all glanced at each other with a look Ed couldn't quite figure out. Them also having an abusive past was no excuse for their fake smiles and pretending to be welcoming. Ed was certain they would turn as soon as they were able to. Elijah continued, no noticing their change in attitude. 

"But you are my only true blood relative, Oswald-" 

The glass in Sasha's hand smashed, making everyone jump in surprise, and for the in-laws to snap back into their pretend personalities. She brushed the glass off herself and smiled apologetically.

"Oh, my poor dear. Are you hurt at all?"

"No, no. I'm-I'm fine"

"Clumsy girl"

The rest of dinner didn't last long, and as soon as it ended Elijah proposed they all retire to bed. As Oswald stood to get up, Ed noticed the smallest wince and his hand instinctively moved to his leg. He moved towards him to offer help, but Oswald frowned and shook his head, "I'm fine Ed. Thank you" 

It was nice to know that even now, he was still stubborn. Ed nodded, but stayed close beside him as he made his way upstairs to the room, incase he needed his help. His Father smiled and showed him to their rooms, which were separate, and Oswald nervously asked a question, hoping he wasn't pushing any boundaries. "Could Ed sleep with me? I have dreadful nightmares, even more since...since mother died. I feel safer with him by me" 

Instead of ridicule or refusal, Elijah just gave him a knowing look, "Of course, my son. Good night"

"Goodnight, Father" Oswald smiled, before walking into the bedroom with Ed. He sighed as he limped over to the bed and collapsed onto it with a weary smile, before slowly taking his shoes off and shifting himself into a sitting position. Ed walked over and sat in front of him, tugging Oswald's right sock off and gently rubbed his thumbs on the dip in his foot, being careful with the muscle as to not hurt him. Oswald watched him almost confused, but after a few seconds he relaxed and realised what was happening.

He leant back against the headboard and sighed happily, "I like it here. I'm sure my mother loved working here, she had an eye for fancy décor. You probably saw that when you visited our apartment. She always loved it"

"You both have an exquisite taste" Ed smiled at him, moving his thumbs professionally and feeling the tension unravel. The absolute adoration in Oswald's eyes when he looked at him made his heart skip, but also made him feel guilty. Oswald never would've hurt him on purpose. Ed was just being cruel with his anger towards him.

"I can't believe this has happened! My Father's alive, and everyone's so nice! I finally have a famil- ouch!" 

Ed mumbled an apology as he softened the pressure. He didn't mean to hurt him, but he was slightly offended that Oswald didn't consider the two of them family. They had gone through so much together. They were family too! 

"Ed?"

"Hm?" He moved up to his ankle, pushing gently against the swollen muscle, careful to not hurt him. Even when it would eventually heal entirely, Oswald would never walk properly again. It wasn't given the chance to heal properly, so the ankle was messed up and almost constantly stuck pointing at an angle, which made him seem like he was waddling. But Oswald didn't seem to mind the limp so much anymore, apart from when his muscle and joints began to hurt. It made the cold weather slightly more dreadful than before, which was ironic since most penguins lived in cold conditions. It was also less desirable when he was trapped in Arkham, a building that appeared to have no central heating whatsoever, so once his leg locked up it was hard to undo. And the guards never took him seriously enough when he tried to explain why he was unable to walk. 

"Would...would you consider getting married? Starting a family together?" He paused and looked up at his boyfriend, who looked back at him with a shy blush on his face, "We never discussed stuff like this before"

Ed didn't answer. Sure, he wanted to get married that wasn't a problem. But he wasn't sure about the idea of kids. It's not that he hated them, it was that normal Oswald would've crinkled his nose in disgust when he saw a baby. And he wasn't so sure if this new him was permanent.

"It doesn't have to be children, we could get a cat together. Or a dog. Or birds. Do you like pets?" Oswald's voice had raised in pitch and increased in speed, and Ed frowned realising that his silence was making his partner worry. 

"I'd love to marry you Oswald. We can discuss the rest later" was all he said before continued working his hands around the injured area. 

"Oh" came the breathless reply, and Ed could hear the smile through the tone. That itself made Ed smile to himself. 

Once Ed had finished and Oswald's leg felt much better, the two cuddled up to each other in bed, enjoying each other's warmth and company. Oswald yawned in Ed's arms and shut his eyes smiling. "Goodnight. I love you"

"I love you too" 

It didn't take long for Oswald to fall asleep, but Ed himself found it difficult. He listened to his partner's breathing, staring up at the ceiling with a frown. Too much was going on for him to cope. Guilt, jealousy, anger, but also sadness and anxiety. Oswald was home here, but yet something felt wrong. Elijah was genuine, but Grace hated them. 

After what felt like an our, he carefully moved away from his boyfriend, and moved to sit on the windowsill of the bedroom, looking out the window as he sighed. His reflection stared back at him, then looked over his shoulder at Oswald and rolled his eyes. **"These people are bad news, Ed. You have to get Oswald out of here"**

"His dad is nice" Ed mumbled back, and other Ed rolled his eyes. 

**"Yes, Elijah is very nice and he loves Oswald almost as much as we do. But Grace and her brats are up to something. They don't like him at all. I know you can see through their charade"**

"I don't trust Grace either, but Oswald is happy. Love is about sacrifice and if Oswald wants to stay here with his father then I'll have to deal with it. His mum died, he needs his father"

**"He needs** **_us_ ** **! Look at all we did for him! We were all he had before** **_they_ ** **came along and ruined it. Can you not see? Grace and her brats are jealous, Ed. She might try to hurt him!"**

"You're being crazy! Yes she's hiding something, but she's not going to resort to that. Why would she?" 

**"You have me through life, and pass me on through death. Your family takes me as you're laid to rest. What am I?"**

"...inheritance? What's that..." The puzzle pieces started to come together, and Ed's heart dropped, "You think she'd..."

**"If you thought you and your children were going to inherit a property like this from your husband, just to find out he had a biological child who it would go to instead. Wouldn't you do the same?"**

"No...you're overthinking things. You just want him to yourself, so you would risk taking him away from his only family to do so" 

Other Ed narrowed his eyes, before smirking **"what has two eyes but can't see what's right in front of him?"**

Before he could reply, Oswald's panicked whimpers came from under the covers. Ed rushed over to try and wake him, but Oswald squirmed and cried in panic, hyperventilating as he struggled with the covers as if fending someone off. 

"Oswald. Oswald! 

Waking with a scream, Oswald sat up and looked around wildly. The dream appeared to be worse than the one he had last night. Oswald looked at him with teary eyes and pulled him into a hug crying, not saying anything else. Suddenly, Elijah burst into the room and looked at them, as Ed rocked his partner in his arms and kissed his forehead gently. "It's ok...it's ok, it was just a dream. I've got you" 

Elijah walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He leant over and gently rubbed Oswald's back sighing as Oswald just cried into Ed's shoulder. Ed kisses the side of his head, before gently beginning to sing his lullaby like he always did, until Oswald slowly calmed down. Him and Elijah made eye contact, and he saw sadness and recognition in his eyes. He knew the lullaby too. 

Once Oswald stopped crying, he moved away and wiped his tears away before looking at his father. Without any question, Elijah shifted forwards and hugged his son, stroking his hair gently. "You're safe here. We won't let anything happen to you, we promise. You are loved"

Ed's anxiety grew at those words. If his alter self was right, then Oswald was not safe here. And he wasn't sure Elijah could protect him if he didn't truly believe that anyone here would hurt his son. 


End file.
